Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we do our research and then craft a story to answer as many as we can. Today we tapped Liz Goldwyn, author, filmmaker, and founder of The Sex Ed, an educational platform and podcast dedicated to sex, health, and consciousness in the digital age, to provide her expert insight on a handful of the steamiest submissions. The hot topic? Orgasmic breath meditation.
“Let’s get a few things straight …
Sex is not an act that you need another person to participate in. Sex doesn’t need to culminate in orgasm to be a powerful experience or ‘good.’ Sex affects every single area of your life and your decision-making process whether or not you compartmentalize it. Your sexual energy is one and the same as your creative or life force energy. You may have heard this kind of energy referred to as prana, ch’i, or mana.
If we can expand our ideas about what sex and our sexuality is and has the potential to be, we can begin to tap into it as a source of POWER and personal growth.
One of the simplest things I advocate—no matter what time of year, whether or not you’re craving a change—is incorporating a mindfulness practice into your sex life. (For a refresher, check out my article about Tantra from last year.)
Masturbation is great, healthy, and beautiful—but did you know that it’s possible to bring yourself to orgasm, hands-free? It’s true.
Once you’ve mastered this practice, you can introduce it into partnered or solo sex, for heightened pleasure.
You do not need any prior experience to participate in this meditation.
Sound impossible?
Put yourself in the mindset of a kid just beginning to read. It’s a little challenging, sometimes frustrating, but also exciting because you can’t wait to get to the juicy big-kid books. But first, you gotta master the A, B, C’s.
I learned the basics of orgasm breathing from my friend and frequent The Sex Ed contributor, Courtney Avery. Courtney has a master’s degree in public health and is a certified yoga instructor and birth doula. The first time she taught me the fundamentals of orgasm breath, I didn’t believe it was possible to breathe myself to climax—and I expected it to happen after about 15 breaths.
But nothing happens overnight.
And practice makes perfect, right?
So I set the mood to get serious about syncing my breath and pelvic floor, with the intention of orgasming. I lit candles, took a bath, coordinated a romantic evening for myself, and got to work. It took some time, but eventually I got there. And my mind was blown!
To help you achieve this, I’ve released a special episode of The Sex Ed Podcast guiding you through an Orgasmic Breath Mediation—all you’ll need to do is find a comfortable spot to sit, tune into your breath and body, and enjoy.”
If your first try at orgasmic breathwork didn’t end with you climaxing, don’t lose hope. Just give it another try later on, and in the meantime, use one of the below toys to help you reach the big O.
Liz Goldwyn is an author, filmmaker, and the founder of The Sex Ed, an educational platform and podcast dedicated to sex, health, and consciousness in the digital age. A passionate advocate of sex education, Goldwyn is committed to providing resources for others to explore sexual wellness. Goldwyn is the writer and director of the documentary Pretty Things (HBO, 2005). She is the author of the nonfiction book Pretty Things: The Last Generation of American Burlesque Queens (HarperCollins, 2006) and the novel Sporting Guide (Regan Arts/Phaidon, 2015). Goldwyn’s short films include Underwater Ballet (2008), L.A. at Night (2009), The Painted Lady (2012), Dear Diary (2013), Love Meditation (2016), and Cello Dream (2017).
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