Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we do our research and then craft a story to answer as many as we can. Today we’re excited to announce that we tapped Liz Goldwyn, author, filmmaker, and the founder of The Sex Ed, an educational platform and podcast dedicated to sex, health, and consciousness in the digital age, to provide her expert insight on a handful of the steamiest submissions. First up, Tantric sex.
“When you think about Tantra, you might be envisioning an hours-long lovemaking session without any touch or orgasm—but that is really a drop of water in the ocean of what Tantra is,” Liz says.
“On The Sex Ed podcast, I spoke with expert Barbara Carrellas of Urban Tantra about what it all means. In her words, ‘Tantra is a spiritual practice that says that we can have a divine connection with something much bigger than ourselves … You could walk the dog tantrically. You could do the dishes tantrically.’
Essentially, Tantra is about elevating your consciousness and connection to your surroundings, so Tantric sex is about applying consideration and intention to your sexual practice—with or without a partner. Instead of focusing on the end goal of an orgasm (your own or your partner’s), Tantric sex practices encourage you to concentrate on the connection you’re experiencing, the sensations you’re feeling, and your breath. Think of it as meditative sex.”
As Barbara explains, it’s about “weaving together … [Tantra] invites you to slow down, become more mindful, and become more aware of sex as an energy rather than as an action or an activity. People often say, ‘Give me some tantric sex positions,’ to which I can say, ‘Pick any position you want and I’ll teach you how to do it tantrically.’ Anything else can be done tantrically, which is to say more mindfully, slower, and without a goal.”
According to Liz, “If you’re looking to have sex in a way that focuses more on a spiritual connection than achieving orgasm—and no judgment if you just want to get your rocks off—then Tantra may be for you.”
Stay tuned for Liz’s next sex talk column, and drop us a DM for a chance to have your question answered (anonymously of course).
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