Help! Can Shower Sex Actually Be Good?

Hello again, dear friend, Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where we answer readers’ intimate questions.

The topic of our latest submission: shower sex.

As in, how can you make it actually fun?

In theory, shower sex sounds hot—the atmosphere is literally steamy, everyone’s all sudsy and wet, etc., etc., etc. In practice, though, shower sex can be…tricky.

There’s a lotta logistics!

So we tapped global leading sexologist Juliet Allen to share her shower sex tips:

“I feel like people either love or hate shower sex—there’s not usually an in-between. For those who love it, you’ve probably got it sussed and have your favorite positions and things that work for you. For those of you who don’t enjoy it but are open to giving it another go, here are some hot tips:

“Accept that most shower sex is standing sex (aka standing doggy-style) unless you have an amazing, built-in shower seat. (If that’s you, you’re one of the lucky ones!) One of the favored shower sex positions is being penetrated from behind. This gives the receiver an opportunity to bend their knees and adjust their height so that the person who is penetrating can fit in perfectly (there’s a few factors involved here for success, height compatibility being a big one).

“Buy a shower-friendly lube. Water-based lube isn’t suitable because it washes away too quickly. Silicone or oil-based lube is ideal. If you’re using condoms, you can’t use oil-based because it can deteriorate the condom, so stick with silicone.

“Rinse off all soap—then rinse some more! It’s fun to lather each other up with soap prior to sex. However, you don’t want soap going anywhere internally because it can really sting and will spoil the mood instantly. So enjoy washing, but then thoroughly rinse all the soap off before getting down and dirty.

“Don’t get fixated on penetration. Remember there’s plenty of pleasure to be had without having to have penetrative sex! Oral sex in the shower can be hot … just make sure that the shower head isn’t spraying directly in the face of the giver. 😉 Fingering is also a great option in the shower, especially if standing sex is difficult due to height.

“Grab some waterproof toys to spice it up and make it fun! I recommend The Juliet Pleasure Wand.”