Close Close

Congratulations
You're on the list.

Make sure to check your spam folder so that our emails are always delivered into your inbox.
xo, Kourt
Give your inbox
and your life

the Poosh it needs.
By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
FREE SHIPPING ON ALL ORDERS
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KMK
Poosh
  • Poosh Your Wellness
  • Newsletter
  • Keep in touch
    instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube
  • search
  • Shop
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • soul
Dating with Anxiety: What It Truly Feels Like
Dating with Anxiety: What It Truly Feels Like
New Ab Workouts to Achieve a Strong Core
New Ab Workouts to Achieve a Strong Core
Are You a Sleep-Sabotager?
Are You a Sleep-Sabotager?
Looking to Cut Back on Cheese? Try These Alternatives
Looking to Cut Back on Cheese? Try These Alternatives
How to Break the Habit of Stalking Your Ex on Social Media
How to Break the Habit of Stalking Your Ex on Social Media
Aging’s Biggest Culprit
Aging’s Biggest Culprit
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
Apps to Streamline Your Life 
Apps to Streamline Your Life 
The Minimalist (and Clean) Body Care Brand to Add to Your Rotation
The Minimalist (and Clean) Body Care Brand to Add to Your Rotation
Under $50 Poosh-Approved Products
Under $50 Poosh-Approved Products
The Anti-Aging Way to Apply Eye Cream
The Anti-Aging Way to Apply Eye Cream
The Best Herbs to Combat Acne
The Best Herbs to Combat Acne
Meet the Woman Behind Kourt’s Favorite Exfoliating Mittens
Meet the Woman Behind Kourt’s Favorite Exfoliating Mittens
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
Essentials for an At-Home Pizza Night
Essentials for an At-Home Pizza Night
Kourt’s New Lunch Menu
Kourt’s New Lunch Menu
How I Decluttered My Closet to Downsize
How I Decluttered My Closet to Downsize
2 Ways to Do Vegan Tuna Lettuce Wraps
2 Ways to Do Vegan Tuna Lettuce Wraps
Kourt’s Rice Krispie Treats Recipe
Kourt’s Rice Krispie Treats Recipe
Under $100 Decor Items to Brighten Your Space
Under $100 Decor Items to Brighten Your Space
  • family
  • kourtney
The Makeup Tips Kourt Recently Learned from Kylie
The Makeup Tips Kourt Recently Learned from Kylie
Ways Kourt Has Made the Most of Her Time at Home
Ways Kourt Has Made the Most of Her Time at Home
*Exclusive* Sneak Peek at the Kardashian/Jenners’ Gift Wrapping
*Exclusive* Sneak Peek at the Kardashian/Jenners’ Gift Wrapping
The Devotional Book Kourt Reads Every Morning
The Devotional Book Kourt Reads Every Morning
Kourt’s Makeup Artist on How to Apply the Perfect Lashes
Kourt’s Makeup Artist on How to Apply the Perfect Lashes
Kourt’s Cute $7 Reusable Daily Vitamin Bags
Kourt’s Cute $7 Reusable Daily Vitamin Bags
What are you looking for?

Search in:

  • Shop
  • Open/Close Button HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • soul
  • Open/Close Button HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • Open/Close Button KMK
    • family
    • kourtney
  • Open/Close Button LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • Poosh Your Wellness
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube
Relationships

How to Feel More Comfortable  MASTURBATING

By Poosh
pinterest facebook twitter email
@martasyrko

For those who are female and female-identifying, masturbation can be a sensitive topic. Tools are handy, hands are even more handy, but mindset is everything. Navigating our own bodies is an important act of self-love and self-exploration. We went to Dr. Kate Balestrieri, Licensed Psychologist, Certified Sex Therapist, PACT II Couples Therapist and founder of @themodernintimacy, for her take on all things self-lovin’ to give us her expert insight on how to feel comfier getting down to biz, alone. Because orgasms are good for your health.

“Masturbation is a healthy form of self-expression—the ultimate self-love. It serves as a teacher for partnered sex, and more importantly, a celebration of your relationship with yourself. There are many benefits of masturbation, and ferreting out discomfort around self-pleasure can set the stage for a lifetime of sexual satisfaction,” Dr. Balestrieri starts.

She shares that masturbation is not just about a moment of pleasure. It can help us to “work through sexual dysfunction or pain, and ensure all the focus is on you. Masturbation with a partner can open up a whole new realm of pleasure for you both, can unlock new fantasies, and can create space for new levels of connectedness.” 

We aren’t all conditioned to have such a relaxed outlook on masturbation, Dr. Balestrieri acknowledges. “To complicate the landscape even further, some people are discouraged away from masturbation due to cultural, religious, or shame-based messages communicated to them directly or indirectly growing up.

“Identify if you feel any shame, guilt, fear, or other emotions that have a negative connotation related to sex. Negative or prohibitive messages absorbed throughout life can extinguish arousal like a wet blanket on a hot flame. Take some time to journal and parse out what makes up your values, and what messages you can let go of, to free yourself up for the experience of self-pleasure. 

“Any history of trauma can complicate your relationship to sex, whether partnered or alone. If that is true for you, consider working with a trauma-informed and sex-positive therapist to help you heal any wounds that prevent you from being able to fully relax or stay embodied. My virtual course, Revive & Thrive: An Integrative + Embodied Program to Heal from Trauma, can be a great kickstart to staying more embodied and attuned to your wants, needs, and limits, in the wake of trauma.” 

Getting right down to it, Dr. Balestrieri has outlined some steps. “When you’re ready to get started, it can be helpful to take some time to first look at your body. Get familiar with it. Admire it. After all, it is not just your body, it is you! Examine with wonder, and stay away from self-judgment. 

“Educate yourself on your anatomy. Refrain from comparing your body to anyone else’s. Find ways to celebrate your body, and honor it. 

“Experiment and have fun! No two bodies are the same, and you might like different things on different days. Mood can impact desire, so give yourself permission to be open-minded to what feels good in any given moment. Free yourself from rigid expectations about what should feel good or what once did. Each moment masturbating is a new opportunity to connect with yourself and deepen your erotic experience. 

“Play with different sensory experiences, in sexual and non-sexual ways. For example, if you feel uncomfortable with genital masturbation, you might want to build up to that, by exploring pleasurable sensations on other parts of your body. Explore different kinds of touch on your hand, arms, legs, neck, nipples, stomach, etc., before making your way to your genitals. Not only can this increase an overall sense of pleasure and eroticism, but it can help you develop a more attuned feedback loop between your mind and body. With every touch, pause and ask yourself what you liked or disliked about the experience. This can serve as a guide for learning how to properly get yourself off, and can be a huge help for partnered sex, as you can more confidently express what you like with a partner. 

“The brain is the largest sex organ, and stimulating it is just as important as how you arouse your body. Allow yourself to get creative with your fantasies. Need some inspo? Think about a previous sexual experience that sent you to the moon, or the hottie you saw online. 

“Consider introducing some sex toys into your repertoire. 

“If you still feel uncomfortable about masturbation, don’t fret. Working with a Certified Sex Therapist can help you unlock new pathways forward into an empowered approach to self-love. A sex therapist can help you explore and eradicate shame, provide education about different techniques to try and methods to increase your orgasmic potential, and discuss ways to minimize or eliminate pain or discomfort.”

Shop Now

Sona 2 Cruise Sonic Clitoral Massager

Price: $139
Lelo
Shop Now

Ora 3 Oral Sex Simulator

Price: $139
Lelo

The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that Poosh, LLC (“Poosh”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. The opinions and content included in the article are the views of the interviewee only, and Poosh does not endorse or recommend any such content or information, or any product or service mentioned in the article. You understand and agree that Poosh shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

Up next, shop more from the Poosh Shop here.

You may also like...

The Difference Between Internal and External Orgasms, and How to Get There
Relationships
The Difference Between Internal and External Orgasms, and How to Get There
What Is Holistic Sexuality?
Relationships
What Is Holistic Sexuality?

Related Articles

Dating with Anxiety: What It Truly Feels Like
Relationships
Dating with Anxiety: What It Truly Feels Like
How to Break the Habit of Stalking Your Ex on Social Media
Relationships
How to Break the Habit of Stalking Your Ex on Social Media
The Best Dating Advice I’ve Learned from Kourt
Relationships
The Best Dating Advice I’ve Learned from Kourt
Is Good Sex Mainly Mental?
mind
Is Good Sex Mainly Mental?
When to Let Go in a Relationship
Relationships
When to Let Go in a Relationship
Sex Talk: What Is Edging?
Relationships
Sex Talk: What Is Edging?
Are You Guilty of Treating Someone Like a Trash Receptacle?
mind
Are You Guilty of Treating Someone Like a Trash Receptacle?
How to Shift Your Mood to Get in the Mood
Relationships
How to Shift Your Mood to Get in the Mood

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube
ADA + WCAG 2.2 Compliant Badge
Made By Nice People