Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, then we do our research and craft a story to answer. The topic of our latest submission: pegging.
Yep, you knew it was only a matter of time before we went here. If your only experience with pegging is that scene from Broad City, you’ve come to the right place. Lisa Finn, sex educator with Babeland, is here to give us the 101 lesson.
Harness Your Desire: Pegging/Strap-On Play From Top To Bottom
Bend over, babe—we’re diving into the world of pegging so you can strap in and explore a whole new world of pleasure, right through the back door.
The term pegging is most commonly used to describe strap-on play where a woman wears a harness and dildo to penetrate their male partner anally (though pegging can be enjoyed by partners of any gender or sexuality).
Pegging can be hot for so many reasons.
It switches role dynamics.
Pegging can flip the script on conventional ideas about roles during sex when the person who may usually be the “giver” becomes the “receiver.” Generally, the receiver in penetrative play tends to be seen as the more submissive role (though this isn’t necessarily the case—dominance and submission aren’t inherently linked to any sexual act or position), and so by switching who is performing the act of penetration, we are shifting the power dynamic in that scene from how it may usually exist.
It stimulates the prostate.
The prostate (aka the P-spot or “male” G-spot) is a nerve-dense gland that has serious orgasmic potential. It tends to get overlooked because of its location inside the booty. Pegging play can stimulate the prostate and give you a new way to experience pleasure.
It can feel great for the giver, too.
Wearing a strap-on can provide a lot of sensation for the giver. You can enjoy the grinding and humping sensation of the base of the dildo against the pubic mound or clitoris, wear a double dildo for G-spot stimulation, or add vibration through a bullet vibrator, wearable vibrator, or vibrating cock ring worn on the dildo’s base.
Yes, anal play is still taboo. Yes, that can make it extra hot. There are (unnecessary) social and cultural stigmas against so many elements of pegging—the use of toys, anal play, the gender “roles” and dynamic. So chasing our pleasure through these taboos can feel downright naughty in a really great way.
Wanna get started on your journey with pegging?
First, you’ll need to pick out your strap-on, which is a set consisting of a harness and a strap-on-compatible dildo. There are pre-made sets, or you can choose your own to really customize the experience for you and your partner. When picking a dildo for pegging, keep in mind the receiver’s experience level with anal penetration. If this is a first-time anal toy, opt for a dildo with a thinner shaft and tapered tip for easier insertion (like the Limba Flex or the Silicone Pegging Probe).
As you start to play, remember these three rules for anal:
Take your time, and go slow. The booty needs time to relax and get used to the sensation of something entering it. Start small, using a well-lubed finger or a smaller toy like a butt plug. (You can even get an anal training kit to prep in advance.) Never force entry, or you can risk injury. If you need more time or to start smaller, that’s totally normal!
The anus doesn’t self-lubricate in the way that the vagina does, so lube is a booty play must. You want to make sure that there’s ample slickness to minimize friction that can cause discomfort. It’s important to keep the anus moisturized to reduce risk of tearing or fissures. Plus, lube can make everything feel more pleasurable, so don’t be shy about using it. Go for a thick water-based lube to pair with your toy. I recommend Babelube Gel or Pjur Analyse Me Water-Based.
Talk to your partner. How does it feel? Are they going too fast? Not fast enough? Do you need to start smaller? Are you ready to add more depth? Communication is key in any type of play, but especially when you are trying something new for the first time.
And remember, sometimes it can take a bit of trial-and-error to see what works best for you and your partner. Just keep communicating, take your time, and enjoy the ride.
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