When you’re stuck in limbo wondering what happened the night that things went south with your significant other, it might be because you two aren’t aware of each other’s turn-on triggers. These are different ways to heighten your sex drive, but more importantly, being knowledgeable of the conditions that tickle your fancy allows you to explore things in the bedroom as a couple. You might discover stimulation from triggers you never knew could get ya goin’.
Shan Boodram, an intimacy educator, sexologist, and psychologist, was our special guest in our Future Sex panel for Poosh Your Wellness this year. She breaks down the six common turn-on triggers below.
Now let’s get into the nitty-gritty: what they are and what they mean.
These are people who would love to see their partner in a costume or in a sexual position. Porn visually stimulates them in the bedroom. Tip: try watching porn with your partner to increase your pleasure if either of your turn-on triggers is through sight.
Otherwise known as sapiosexuals. These people need you to make love to their mind before you can make love to their body. This requires a conversation first before you can make a move on them. Meaningful dialogue goes a long way.
Does knowing that your partner only wants you and only you turn you on? If this is you then dialogue such as “You make me feel so horny” will probably get you in the mood. Specific and direct language validates your wants before you can rock the bed with them.
Hmm, negotiators. Sex is not at the top of their list (which is totally normal). You should know how to approach this though. Acts of service are the best way to get a negotiator’s attention. By giving your partner incentive for something they truly value, they instinctively want to do something in return. Tip: offer a massage after they’ve had a long day at work.
The ones who love the constant chase. If this is not you and you tend to do most of the chasing, try backing off a little and see that the results will be in your favor.
The most common turn-on trigger is your environment. This is when an individual’s senses have to be pleased before the body is open to pleasure. These people like it when you put in a little extra effort. They appreciate things like music, a lit candle, and vibey lighting.
To learn more about sexual wellness and Shan’s steamy bedroom insight, watch the video below.
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