Skip to main content
Close Close

Congratulations
You're on the list.

Make sure to check your spam folder so that our emails are always delivered into your inbox.
xo, Kourt
Give your inbox
and your life

the Poosh it needs.
By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
Free Shipping on All Domestic Orders.
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KKB
Poosh
  • instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
  • Shop
  • search
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • Sexual Wellness
  • soul
This Creamy Lemon Olive Oil Elixir Is the Cure for Water Retention
This Creamy Lemon Olive Oil Elixir Is the Cure for Water Retention
Do These 3 Things for Your Gut and Get the Best Sleep Ever
Do These 3 Things for Your Gut and Get the Best Sleep Ever
3 Reasons to Stop Saying “I’m Dead” and What to Say Instead, According to a Psychologist
3 Reasons to Stop Saying “I’m Dead” and What to Say Instead, According to a Psychologist
This Multitasking SPF Completes My Lazy-Girl Morning Routine
This Multitasking SPF Completes My Lazy-Girl Morning Routine
Are all Calories Created Equal?
Are all Calories Created Equal?
Can a Friend be Your Soulmate?
Can a Friend be Your Soulmate?
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
This Multitasking SPF Completes My Lazy-Girl Morning Routine
This Multitasking SPF Completes My Lazy-Girl Morning Routine
Clean-ish SPFs You’ll Actually Enjoy Wearing
Clean-ish SPFs You’ll Actually Enjoy Wearing
Embracing My Inner Romantic Is the Bravest Thing I’ve Ever Done
Embracing My Inner Romantic Is the Bravest Thing I’ve Ever Done
How This Serum Changed My Morning/Makeup Routine
How This Serum Changed My Morning/Makeup Routine
Quiet Luxury Isn’t a Look—It’s a Whole Mood 
Quiet Luxury Isn’t a Look—It’s a Whole Mood 
Steph Shep Shares Her Fave AAPI Brands To Know and Love
Steph Shep Shares Her Fave AAPI Brands To Know and Love
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
This Creamy Lemon Olive Oil Elixir Is the Cure for Water Retention
This Creamy Lemon Olive Oil Elixir Is the Cure for Water Retention
These Hacks Make Small-Space Living SO Much Easier 
These Hacks Make Small-Space Living SO Much Easier 
Our 7 Most-Shared Recipes 
Our 7 Most-Shared Recipes 
Under $50: Outdoor Entertaining Essentials
Under $50: Outdoor Entertaining Essentials
Kourt’s Coconut Pudding Recipe
Kourt’s Coconut Pudding Recipe
The New Matcha Mule 818 Cocktail Recipe
The New Matcha Mule 818 Cocktail Recipe
  • family
  • kourtney
An Exclusive Peek at Khloé Kardashian’s Blooming Garden Trellis
An Exclusive Peek at Khloé Kardashian’s Blooming Garden Trellis
Why Kourt is Obsessed With Nettle Tea
Why Kourt is Obsessed With Nettle Tea
Under $20: Clever Fridge Organizers Inspired by Kris Jenner
Under $20: Clever Fridge Organizers Inspired by Kris Jenner
The Asian-Inspired Chickpea Salad Kourt Can’t Stop Reaching For 
The Asian-Inspired Chickpea Salad Kourt Can’t Stop Reaching For 
BTS: Kourt and Travis’ Personal Photos from Their Portofino Wedding
BTS: Kourt and Travis’ Personal Photos from Their Portofino Wedding
3 Salads Kourt is Eating on Rotation Right Now
3 Salads Kourt is Eating on Rotation Right Now
What are you looking for?

Menu

  • Shop
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • Sexual Wellness
    • soul
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • KKB
    • family
    • kourtney
  • LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Sexual Wellness

What To Do If You Have a HIGHER LIBIDO THAN YOUR PARTNER

By Poosh
share on pinterest share on facebook share on twitter Share on Flipboard share by email
 Photo credit @perazna
@perazna

Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we do our research to craft a story that answers as many questions as we can. The topic of our latest submission: what to do when you have a higher libido than your partner. 

It can be a tricky situation to navigate. Ofc, you don’t want your partner to feel pressured into having sex, but you also want to be sexually satisfied in your relationship. 

So we enlisted renowned sexual medicine practitioner Amy Killen, MD and Medical Advisor to Joi Women’s Wellness, for help. 

First off, you’re not the only one going through this. 

“Mismatched libidos are very common, especially in long-term couples,” says Dr. Killen. “In fact, there’s even a name for it: Sex Drive Discrepancy (SDD). 

According to Dr. Killen, some factors that can contribute to mismatched libidos include hormone changes (pregnancy, birth control, perimenopause, menopause, low testosterone in men, thyroid problems, etc.), medications (e.g. antidepressants, beta blockers), chronic medical problems (e.g. diabetes), depression, fatigue, and stress.  
So, yeah, there’s a lotttt going on. 

“The most important first step is to talk openly about it,” Dr. Killen states. We know, we know, this is easier said than done. Approaching the topic with empathy and support is a good start.

“Understanding what type of sexual desire you each have can be helpful,” she adds. “It’s completely normal for libido to ebb and flow throughout different seasons of your life. 
“Spontaneous sex drive means that desire happens randomly and doesn’t necessarily require stimulation to get going,” Dr. Killen explains. “Responsive sexual desire means they need mental or physical stimulation to get them revved up. It doesn’t just happen, which is a key distinction.” 

“For some couples, scheduling sex helps (we’re all busy these days!),” Dr. Killen says. 

While scheduled sex may sound, well, clinical, we like to recall something sex therapist Shamyra Howard told us: “Scheduling sex does not make sex less satisfying or less spontaneous, but it shows a commitment to prioritize sexual intimacy.” If you need tips on how to schedule sex, she has plenty more here. 

“Creating environments or situations that make sex easier, more fun, and more exciting can also be beneficial,” Dr. Killen says. She gives the example of planning a date night that’s “outside the box” for you. “Being affectionate throughout the day, versus only when expecting sex, can also set the tone for more intimacy later,” she adds. 

Remember: “Mismatched libido is completely normal and there’s no one right way to navigate it, but with some effort (and maybe a little compromising), most couples can find their way to a happy middle ground,” Dr. Killen says. 

Shop our sex and love collection:

Shop Dip Basic Vibrator
Shop Zee Bullet Vibrator
Shop Aer Suction Toy
Shop Pom Flexible Vibrator
Shop Com External Wand Vibrator
Shop Arc G-Spot Vibrator
Shop Eva Couples Vibrator
Shop Fin Finger Vibrator
Shop Let's Get Closer: Couples Edition
Shop Radiant Love Butter
Shop Biodegradable Intimate Wipes
Shop Refresh Daily Wash
Shop Revive Hydrating Mist
Shop Restore Mask
Shop MunkeyBarz Sex Belt
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Ivory
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Red
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove - Red
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove Set
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Ivory
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Red
Shop Sydney Glove - Black
Shop Sydney Glove - Red
Shop Sydney Glove Set

Up next, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Poosh newsletter.

You may also like...

Go to article Spice up Your Sex Life with A Yes/No/Maybe List
Sexual Wellness

Spice up Your Sex Life with A Yes/No/Maybe List

Go to article How Do I Keep my Vagina From Feeling Irritated After Sex?
Sexual Wellness

How Do I Keep my Vagina From Feeling Irritated After Sex?

Related Articles

Goes to article Is Sacred Sex the Key to Living Your Best Life?
Sexual Wellness

Is Sacred Sex the Key to Living Your Best Life?

Goes to article Should You Be Using Your Vibrator on Your Boyfriend?
Sexual Wellness

Should You Be Using Your Vibrator on Your Boyfriend?

Goes to article How Mutual Masturbation Can Revamp Your Sex Life
Sexual Wellness

How Mutual Masturbation Can Revamp Your Sex Life

Goes to article The Benefits of Morning Sex
Sexual Wellness

The Benefits of Morning Sex

Goes to article Real Talk: Does Anyone Actually Like 69ing? 
Sexual Wellness

Real Talk: Does Anyone Actually Like 69ing? 

Goes to article “I Lost My Orgasm. How Do I Get It Back?”
Sexual Wellness

“I Lost My Orgasm. How Do I Get It Back?”

Goes to article Could Yoni Massage Be the Release You Need?
Sexual Wellness

Could Yoni Massage Be the Release You Need?

Goes to article The Science Behind What’s Actually Happening When You Orgasm
Sexual Wellness

The Science Behind What’s Actually Happening When You Orgasm

  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Reviewed by Allyant for Accessibility
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved