Modern dating is … kind of an app hellscape? The dating game is a tough one. So today, we decided to get some insight from a different perspective than usual—a guy.
Specifically, Joey Soboleski (@hunjoe on TikTok), who we met at a Poosh event and could not get enough of his funny, relatable takes on dating.
Below, he shares the things he’s looking for when swiping on a dating app.
You have something in common.
“What I look for first on a dating app is some kind of common interest between us that would give hope to phone conversations and maybe even a cool thing long-term,” says Joey.
“A portrait, like a close-up shot, of your face,” he says. “There’s nothing more attractive than being drawn to someone’s face. You have to stare at that thing all the time, so it’s nice when it’s easy on the eyes.”
“I want to see a shot of your style,” he adds. “Something that represents you and embodies your overall aesthetic. The drip goes a long way.”
“I want to see something about your hobbies,” he adds. “For those of us who seek enchantment for our souls, we want to find someone who is also smelling the roses along the way.”
“I’m looking for possible red flags that this person is a catfish, such as using Snapchat filters for photos or posting a bunch of pictures with groups of friends. This distorts my ability to tell whether or not it’s you,” he shares. “Overly edited photos kind of scare me because I have no idea who’s going to show up to that date when we finally link.”
“Last but not least, I have to go through my hard nos because these are clear, make-or-break factors in my book.”
The club rat
“Personally not a big fan of your big club chick. It’s one thing to occasionally party on the weekend after a hard work week or to see your friends, socialize, and network,” says Joey. “But when you’re going to the same club every weekend and staying out till two in the morning with the same people, it shows you have a lot of unhealthy tendencies, and that might knock me off my hustle.”
Cropped out exes
“Second, a hard no is if you post a pic with your arm around some other dude whose face is cropped out of the photo,” he adds. “Then I know you probably just got out of a relationship, and this is about to be a rebound.”
Putting him on the backburner
“Third hard no is if you’re treating me like an option,” he says. “I’m trying to get to know you through messaging.”
“Last but not least, you’re a homebody with no personal interests or drive. It’s just not hot because I’ll be on my grind working my ass off on this part of self-mastery,” he shares. “I need a queen lion by my side, so we can uplift each other to take over the world, not someone who complains about life all day and is always on a negative vibration. Negative vibes or a hard no for me.”
You ask, we answer. Send your relationship questions to [email protected], and one of our experts may just answer them in an upcoming column.
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