First dates can be hard sometimes.
They can be awkward and nerve-wracking for some people, but they don’t have to be. One of the many elements of a good date is real conversation. Real conversation involves give and take, one person talking, the other listening, and vice versa.
A good conversation usually has that moment, the “click,” where both parties engage and become equally interested in sharing their own thoughts or opinions, as well as hearing what the other has to say about it. The energy escalates, there are interruptions, backtracking, and “Wait, that reminds me of …” moments.
You stop thinking about what you are going to say next and just flow. It’s the foundation of solid relationships, flirtation, and of all good dates.
That said, what makes for a successful first date?
The first date location sets the tone for the rest of the evening. Try to match your location to a mutual interest or a place that will spark good conversation. It should be easy to reach and accessible for both parties. While some people like going to the movies, concerts, or festivals, those activities make work better for second or third dates when there is more rapport.
This one should be obvious because it is flat-out rude. Focus on your date and how to keep the conversation flowing. This is important because you are getting to know the person and, if you listen, you will most likely have follow-up questions that will lead to more conversation.
Be aware of offering up too much personal information about your past dating history. Yes, it will come out at one point or another, but that should never take place at the very first date. Why rush into talking about your ex? There will be plenty of time for all that later.
There’s nothing like a good old compliment to break the ice and make a good first impression. Chances are, your date has put a lot of effort into their appearance for your date. It’s not going to be a lengthy topic of discussion, but it’s polite to compliment them on how they look.
Resist the impulse to check all those boxes. No one wants to feel as though they are being interviewed. Sure, there are pieces of information you might find critical to assessing a person’s long-term potential, but this is a first meeting, not a marriage test.
This is all to say that there’s obviously going to be an inevitable element of awkwardness when going on a date with someone for the first time. However, that’s because the majority of the time, we take them so seriously.
Yes, it could lead to something great, but you won’t know that after just one interaction. And if it goes horribly wrong, you literally never have to see this person again. But if there’s a possibility of you two going beyond the first date, there are plenty of ways to make it less awkward and more enjoyable for both of you.
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