There’s a theory that throughout our lifetime, we will fall in love three times, at three different stages of our lives. Each love feels totally unique from the other and teaches us something different that shapes the person that we becoming. The three types of love are the first love, the intense love, and the unconditional love. Ahead, we’re breaking down the meaning of each and what you typically learn from each stage of love.
This love feels like a fairy tale. It’s that all-consuming puppy love and one that, at the time, you think will last forever. Often we experience our first love in high school, and usually it ends because the two people either grow apart or because of some trivial argument that the relationship simply isn’t strong enough to withstand. This love is usually more surface level, with more importance placed on how the relationship might look to others. While it certainly feels like true love at the time, it’s not usually the deep, raw love that you’ll experience later on. The heartbreak can feel immense, initially, but you usually recover from it quickly.
What We Learn: That falling in love is the most incredible feeling in the world, but that not all relationships last forever, and they certainly aren’t always like they appear to be in the movies.
This is the second love, and it’s usually the one that turns our world upside down. As we fall into this intense love story, the relationship becomes a mirror into our soul: we see all our insecurities, our needs, and our desires staring back at us. In this relationship, we may experience jealousy, fear, and self-doubt that we’ve never felt before. The relationship comes with massive highs and dramatic lows. We often try to mold the other half into our perfect partner, and we try to mold ourselves to become theirs. This is the love that feels like a rollercoaster and the one that can leave us feeling guarded, distrusting, and hurt. The heartbreak from this relationship can be indescribably painful, but it is also through this heartbreak that we really grow, change, and evolve while finding the inner strength and resilience we didn’t know we had.
What We Learn: What we do want from love, and what we don’t.
After we’ve recovered from the heartbreak of the intense love and we’ve begun to heal and cultivate self-love, then comes the unexpected love. The one that comes from nowhere and feels just completely and utterly right. There are no games, and when you are with them you simply feel like you are home. You embrace all that they are, all their imperfections, and all their nuances. You feel more yourself with them than you ever have before, and you constantly inspire each other to be the best versions of yourselves. When you face an obstacle or a challenge in the relationship, you work together to overcome it because you are both committed to your future. This is the unconditional love that marks the beginning of forever, and you thank the universe every day for bringing them into your world.
What We Learn: That true love does exist and that it is possible to feel completely safe, protected, and adored by another human.
Related:
1. How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationships
2. Can You Change Your Attachment Style?
3. What To Do If You Have Different Love Languages
Roxie Nafousi is a self-development coach, manifesting expert, yoga teacher, and host of the podcast “The Moments That Made Me.” Head to her website to book a spot in her next self-development webinar, schedule a one-on-one advice session, or download one of her meditations or affirmation playlists designed to help you on your manifestation journeys. Follow her on Instagram.
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