Alfred Eisenstaedt
If you’ve just ended a long relationship or you’ve been looking for Mr. Perfect for far too long, there’s no better place to be right now.
Reminder: you have to stop wondering what to do with your life or how to spend your free time. Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely, and it gives you endless possibilities for discovering new dimensions of life and improving yourself.
There’s a time to be dating, and there’s a time to be alone. That doesn’t have to mean loneliness. Being single is all about being free and being happy. Let’s find out why.
Editor’s note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
All this time that you used to dedicate to the thoughts of one particular man is now freed up and all yours. You can start new hobbies, focus on reading more, focus on your career goals, meet up with people that you haven’t seen recently, or just lie in bed and watch your favorite TV shows and relax all day, every day. Sounds like a great deal.
2. All decisions are in your hands
All couples can admit that, as a whole, they make most of their big decisions together. It’s not always nice having to agree on something just because your partner said so. You know the feeling … neglecting your needs and desires to satisfy your loved one is definitely not the best part of being in a relationship. So enjoy your freedom and make decisions on your own—no one is going to mumble about it.
Relationships are built on compromises, and sometimes, there comes a time where you want to be free and not have to compromise with anyone. When you’re single, there’s no compromising about your love life, the way you spend your time, your hobbies, the people you see, where your finances go, and so on. You’re free to experience what you want.
4. Now’s the time ... fill your passport
We all know traveling alone is an incredible experience, not to mention that, if you have a s/o, they’re not always going to want to come to all the places you want to go to. Problem solved. The best part of being single is that you can buy a ticket and go to any place in the world—and the only permission you need is your own.
For those of you recovering from a breakup, remember, you came to this world alone. At one point in your life, you never knew this person. So you can live without them and you will. And guess what? You will do just fine. Find your power, reach for life, and have fun again.
Dwelling on the past does not make space for the future. Sitting back and telling yourself “They really weren’t that bad” is the mind playing nasty tricks on you. If that happens, quickly call a friend and ask them to remind you of all the times you complained about your ex. That will help you squash that lie quickly.
I encourage you to find the courage to move on. A breakup creates space for something new. Let the newness of you in. Let whoever came to your life for a “reason” and “season” go. They have done their job. Now do your job and move on with the next exciting chapter of your life. Let the sunshine in.
Dalia Hendrix is a self-love and relationship expert, coach, and therapist. She is passionate about encouraging women to build lasting confidence and thrive in their relationships. She specializes in the areas of dating and marriage, inspiring women to heal negative behavior and thinking patterns and move on from toxic relationships. You can follow her on IG @iamdaliasmith.
