Skip to main content
Close Close

Congratulations
You're on the list.

Make sure to check your spam folder so that our emails are always delivered into your inbox.
xo, Kourt
Give your inbox
and your life

the Poosh it needs.
By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
Free Shipping on All Domestic Orders.
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KKB
Poosh
  • instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
  • Shop
  • search
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • Sexual Wellness
  • soul
The Self-Care Ritual That Actually Relieves my Pain
The Self-Care Ritual That Actually Relieves my Pain
Is Trauma Trapped in Your Body?
Is Trauma Trapped in Your Body?
How Arousal Mapping Can Awaken Your Desire
How Arousal Mapping Can Awaken Your Desire
A Workout for Your Follicular Phase
A Workout for Your Follicular Phase
7 Green Flags in Yourself
7 Green Flags in Yourself
How to Tell the Difference Between Dry and Dehydrated Skin
How to Tell the Difference Between Dry and Dehydrated Skin
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
Stylist Dani Michelle Shares Her Transitional Dressing Must-Haves
Stylist Dani Michelle Shares Her Transitional Dressing Must-Haves
Poosh Product Picks: Madeleine Rose
Poosh Product Picks: Madeleine Rose
Poosh Pause: My Bali Reset
Poosh Pause: My Bali Reset
How to Detect Narcissist Red Flags
How to Detect Narcissist Red Flags
I’m Getting Married in 8 Months—This Is My Expert-Approved Skin Treatment Schedule
I’m Getting Married in 8 Months—This Is My Expert-Approved Skin Treatment Schedule
How to Thrive, Not Just Survive
How to Thrive, Not Just Survive
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
Khloé Kardashian’s Easy Weeknight Slow Cooker Veggie Burrito Bowls
Khloé Kardashian’s Easy Weeknight Slow Cooker Veggie Burrito Bowls
Hormone Healthy Raw Carrot Salad Recipe
Hormone Healthy Raw Carrot Salad Recipe
Must-Have Items New Moms Swear By
Must-Have Items New Moms Swear By
Vegan Armenian Lahmacun Recipe From Kourt’s Incredible Spread
Vegan Armenian Lahmacun Recipe From Kourt’s Incredible Spread
Kourt’s Favorite Cajun Kale Chips
Kourt’s Favorite Cajun Kale Chips
Under $50: Chic Bathroom Organization Accessories
Under $50: Chic Bathroom Organization Accessories
  • family
  • kourtney
Khloé Kardashian’s Easy Weeknight Slow Cooker Veggie Burrito Bowls
Khloé Kardashian’s Easy Weeknight Slow Cooker Veggie Burrito Bowls
Vegan Armenian Lahmacun Recipe From Kourt’s Incredible Spread
Vegan Armenian Lahmacun Recipe From Kourt’s Incredible Spread
Why Kourt Loves Seed Cycling
Why Kourt Loves Seed Cycling
Kourt’s Favorite Cajun Kale Chips
Kourt’s Favorite Cajun Kale Chips
3 Salads Kourt is Eating on Rotation Right Now
3 Salads Kourt is Eating on Rotation Right Now
Kourtney’s Wet Hair Look: The Breakdown
Kourtney’s Wet Hair Look: The Breakdown
What are you looking for?

Menu

  • Shop
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • Sexual Wellness
    • soul
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • KKB
    • family
    • kourtney
  • LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Relationships

Should Your Partner  BE YOUR EVERYTHING?

By Poosh
share on pinterest share on facebook share on twitter Share on Flipboard share by email
 Photo credit @hannaschonberg
@hannaschonberg

We might be deeply in love. Our relationship might have endurance, stamina, and patience. We might get love-bombed and feel overwhelmed with how into our partner we are. We might give so much of ourselves, and expect the universe back. We tell our loved one, “You’re my world, you’re my everything.” And, in a way, we do mean it. But when it boils down to the details … can one single person be everything?

We expect a lot from our partners, and with good reason. Love takes work, and a committed partnership takes fortitude. But, should we really be worried about fulfilling every single need of our partners, and expecting the same from them? Shamyra Howard, award-winning sexologist, licensed clinical social worker, sex and relationship expert, and therapist, graced us with her perspective on the matter.

“Contrary to love songs, it’s impossible for your partner to be your everything. Humans are very complex, we have so many intimate needs: social, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, sexual, and intellectual. People are looking for a partner to fulfill all of their needs, and that’s a lot of responsibility to place on another imperfect person.” And that kind of pressure does not a carefree existence make.

We wouldn’t want to carry the sole responsibility for every aspect of another person’s well-being, and we can’t expect the same in return. It doesn’t mean that seeking fulfillment—i.e. friendship, advice, love, and emotional nourishment—from others is a form of straying from your relationship. It simply means we are well-rounded, well-adjusted humans. Cheating excluded, of course, depending on your nuanced relationship boundaries.

Howard goes on to explain that “there is not one person who can satisfy all of your needs. No perfect person exists, sorry. Then, there’s the notion of finding a soulmate. The biggest problem with looking for a soulmate is looking for a soulmate.” Let that sink in. We don’t let that stress us out, we let that relieve us. It’s not finding a needle in a haystack, it’s a romantic alliance—an agreement that two people can love and communicate needs and boundaries clearly and lovingly.

“We’ve been taught that a soulmate is a romantic partner who comes in and sweeps us off our feet, checks all of our boxes, and likes everything we like. What if we changed the way we view soulmates? I don’t believe we have one soulmate, nor do I believe our soulmates are just romantic partners. A soulmate is someone you share a spiritual connection with. Someone who represents truth in your life. Someone who acts as a mirror to you, challenges you, and is committed to and connected to your spiritual growth.” But that doesn’t make them your everything, nor should they fulfill every need of every moment.

“For this reason, it’s helpful for you and your partner to establish meaningful relationships outside of your primary relationship. I’m not suggesting you get other romantic partners; I’m encouraging you to embrace the fullness of relationships with those around you. This can prevent you from expecting your partner to fulfill every need and void.” Having close friends and others we love dearly is actually healthier for the tenacity of our romantic relationships. Making time to pursue other loving friendships can only strengthen our ability to love and be loved.

“The perfect person and the perfect relationship doesn’t exist. Relationships need people who are committed to build, grow, and rebuild with each other. This means you have to be your own #relationshipgoals. When thinking about finding the one, being the one, or having the perfect relationship, think of what that means for you. Think of what type of energy you’re bringing to the relationship. Are you looking for someone to complete you, or someone to complement you? If it’s not the latter, then you might not be emotionally ready to nurture a relationship. Going into a relationship looking for your everything can place you in an egoship instead of a relationship. An egoship is a situation in which you have a partner to fulfill a void, rather than expose vulnerabilities and grow.”

Poosh Edit: Essentials for an Ideal “Me” Night

Up next, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Poosh newsletter.

You may also like...

Go to article What Kind of Arguer Are You in a Relationship?
Relationships

What Kind of Arguer Are You in a Relationship?

Go to article What’s Your Support Style? 
Relationships

What’s Your Support Style? 

Related Articles

Goes to article Try These Intuitive Relationship Hacks for Next-Level Communication 
Relationships

Try These Intuitive Relationship Hacks for Next-Level Communication 

Goes to article What to do if he has a Small Penis
Relationships

What to do if he has a Small Penis

Goes to article 10 Signs Someone Is Good for You
Relationships

10 Signs Someone Is Good for You

Goes to article The Science Behind Being Lovestruck
Relationships

The Science Behind Being Lovestruck

Goes to article How to Thrive in the Bedroom 
Relationships

How to Thrive in the Bedroom 

Goes to article How to Detect Narcissist Red Flags
Relationships

How to Detect Narcissist Red Flags

Goes to article The Dos and Don’ts of Dating
Relationships

The Dos and Don’ts of Dating

Goes to article How To Break Up With Someone and Keep Your Side of the Street Clean
Relationships

How To Break Up With Someone and Keep Your Side of the Street Clean

  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Reviewed by Allyant for Accessibility
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved