Are you kinky or do you have a sexual fetish? Well, technically speaking, a fetish is a type of kink. So if you have a fetish, then yes, you have a bit of kink in you. For the newbies, a fetish is literally defined as “a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, or part of the body.”
Does having a fetish make you “weird”? Of course not (although some specific ones are very bizarre … err, shall we say creative). Does not having a fetish make you vanilla in the bedroom? Depends on who you ask. Our vote is no, you like what you like, and we support that. But if you were to ask the kink community, they might say yes and compare it to the ice cream shop analogy. If you choose vanilla out of all the other flavors, you’re lacking the desire to experience new sensations. We don’t make the rules, so don’t blame the messenger on this one.
Do you have a fetish and not even know it? Maybe. The thing about fetishes is there can be levels to how interested you are in something. For example, the classic foot fetish. You can be attracted to well-groomed and pretty feet, but do they truly turn you on every time you have sex? Could be a toss-up.
Here’s our POV: instead of immediately putting types of fetishes in one extreme box, why not normalize a happy medium. Not following? OK, here’s what we mean. Rather than right off the bat confidently saying or thinking, “I don’t have any fetishes,” why not take baby steps and just explore the idea. Kind of like a fetish one-night stand. Or, ya know, poosh the boundaries with your bedroom behavior.
To be clear, only take this suggestion if both you and your partner are comfortable with it and are on the same page. Reminder, exploring doesn’t mean you have to do it again. On the flip side, though, maybe you’ll discover something new that you’re actually really into, and just like that, you unleash a fetish you didn’t know you had.
So where do you start your fetish test trail? Well, this list has some interesting ideas. The sexual fetishes are ranked by popularity and gender preference. Don’t feel bad if you have to Google what most of them even mean because … same. Some are disturbing, so please avoid those.
Here’s our list of fetishes that caught our attention (read: intrigued us, not saying we’ve tried them).
Before you read on, we want to remind you that the two most important things when it comes to trying new sexual activities are consent and communication. Everybody has a different set of limitations and desires, so it’s important to keep that in mind. Once you’ve checked off those C’s, you can get busy.
The Beginner’s Guide to Sex Fetishes:
Bondage (Etsy has great stores to browse like this one with a selection of leather harnesses and accessories)
Gagging (remember the two C’s here)
Peeing (aka golden showers or formally known as urophilia)
Quirofilia (aka good-looking hands get you going)
Sex toy fetish
Spanking (consent, consent, consent)
Of course, this is just a small sampling of what’s out there, so find what interests you and your partner, and don’t be afraid to get creative.
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