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Relationships

How to Know When it’s Time to LET GO OF A FRIENDSHIP

By Dr. Krystal Conner
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 Photo credit @figaro_many
@figaro_many

So no one told you life was gonna be this way. (Clap clap clap clap.)

Having a group of close-knit friends to go through highs and lows with is crucial for a full and meaningful life.

Very few things are better than girls’ trips, Saturday brunch dates, and having that true friend listen to you cry about the same things they’ve already given you advice on a million times—without judgment. 

But all friendships aren’t meant to last forever. Your life stages change as you grow older, and inevitably, so will your circle of confidantes.

So how do you know when to let go of a friendship that is no longer serving you? 

Of course, there are obvious signs it is time to cut someone out of your life. Like, if someone has a negative impact on your life, be it through cheating, lying, or stealing. 

There are other behaviors and signs, however, that aren’t nearly as clear-cut. Here are a few to look out for. 

1.  When you get together, the conversation feels awkward and uncomfortable.

It leaves you wondering why you are still working to maintain a friendship.

2. They constantly remind you of the worst parts of your past.

On any given day, our memories can quickly recall almost every terrible decision we ever made. You don’t need a so-called friend to help you with that. It is a clear sign they are either unwilling or unable to see you any differently than you once were.

Someone constantly reminding you of who you were most likely won’t be able to fully support you as you try to grow into the best version of yourself. Be wary of friends who you hesitate to share news about good things happening in your life. That’s a major red flag. True friends not only celebrate your wins with you, but they also cheer you on and encourage you.

3. You feel emotionally drained every time you’re with them.

Or they encourage you to participate in bad habits, even after you’ve expressed your desire to move past it and start fresh.

4. You don’t feel like you can be yourself around them.

And maybe they don’t value or respect your opinions and feelings. Nothing is more exhausting than pretending to be someone you are not. True friends may not always agree with you, but they will love, accept, respect, and value you.

Even though we’d like to believe that our friends will always be in our lives, it’s important to take stock of those relationships and the impact they have on you. When it comes to friends, quality always beats out quantity. 

Letting go of friendships is not easy, but when they negatively impact your life, health, or growth, it’s time to reevaluate whether that friendship is worth it after all.

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