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Sexual Wellness

How to Get Your Horny Back

By Felicia Hershenhorn
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 Photo credit @elienjansen
@elienjansen

Let’s get real. What the actual f*ck is libido anyway? Is it a drive for sex or a desire? Can it be measured numerically? Why is it spontaneous at times and responsive at others? Is it physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, or all of the above? 

Well, according to the dictionary, libido refers to a person’s desire to engage in sexual activity. It is a subjective parameter that varies from one person to the next and is affected by physical, emotional, mental, genetic, and environmental factors. And while there are some biological bases for how often you desire sex, libido does not only refer to an innate drive to get down and dirty. So if you’re feeling like you just can’t get your horny back, don’t worry. You are not biologically destined to never f*ck again.

If your libido is persistent and causes ongoing distress or problems, I always recommend consulting with a physician to identify the root issue, which could be hormonal or medical. But here’s the deal: There is one thing everyone can try when life gets insane, stress creeps in, and suddenly our inner vixen decides to take a hiatus. 

Enter: the O-Method.

The O-Method is the flirty fairy godmother you never knew you needed. It’s a Pinterest board for your pleasure, a cheeky game plan to sprinkle some spicy magic on your reality, especially when everyday chaos takes a toll on your love and lust vibes.

It’s a manifestation technique where you use sexual energy to manifest your reality. You harness the massive amount of power created by an orgasm to ask for and get what you want. If you manifest your job, your partner, and your life, why not also manifest your deepest desire and increased sex drive while cumming (double win)? 

There is a direct link between climax and manifestation, and it has to do with understanding our emotions. 

Sometimes, the greatest barrier to increased libido is the lack of energy put toward sex. A foundational element of manifestation is feeling. If you feel like you have no time for sex or you feel out of touch with your sexuality, those affirmations become your reality, and your libido can decrease accordingly. If you want to bring more desire into your life, you have to start by literally and figuratively feeling that desire within yourself.

Similar to other manifestation techniques, the O-Method is all about visualizing. 

But turn the dial up to fantasy mode-3000. When you feel yourself getting ready to reach orgasm, visualize what you want to attract. Imagine the details of how you want sex to feel and how many times you want to have it daily or weekly. Envision people you desire, and scream out their names. Add scents that make your heart race, think of positions you’ve always wanted to try, play music that makes your toes curl, and chant out loud the parts of your body you want to be touched by your sexual energy. 

Dive into the details. You are the main character, and you need to feel it! Grab some toys or a great sex serum, and enhance the pleasure with heightened stimulation and sensation in your erogenous zones to help you focus on what you want while your body reaches its climax. 

The O-Method allows you to open a dialogue with yourself, to think about what you want while actively pursuing that goal. What better time to invite increased desire into your life than when you are practicing self-pleasure. You are setting the stage for desire’s comeback era. 

And trust me, baby, we are all here for it.

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You ask, we answer. Send your relationship questions to [email protected], and one of our experts may just answer them in an upcoming column.

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