Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we do our research and then craft a story to answer as many as we can. This week we tapped Cheryl Fagan, sexpert and founder of On Top, to explain the different ways to reach the Big O. She’s also responsible for deeply defining holistic sexuality and the steamy secret to standout stamina to our readers.
We’ll let her take it from here.
What Are the Different Types of Orgasms and How Can I Achieve Each?
“First, we need to consider the anatomy of the clitoris and define what is happening during an orgasm. It’s important to remember that we have to learn how to orgasm. The media often portrays it as automatic, but it takes time. For those of you out there who are feeling frustrated, there is hope. By learning about sexual anatomy, your body, pleasure, your brain, your hormones, your arousal, and how you enjoy stimulation, you’ll get to your desired outcome.
In science, we’ve only recently learned the entirety of the anatomy of the clitoris (with still so much to learn). No, it’s not just the nob in your vulva, it’s internal as well. So, what we understand now is that the G-spot internal orgasms are actually the stimulation of the urethral sponge—it’s stimulating the internal part of the clitoris. During orgasm, the pelvic floor muscles are contracting, and there is increased blood flow to the pelvic floor.
So, what is an orgasm? To keep it simple, I’ll use Dr. Bat Sheva’s definition: ‘Once the stimulation reaches a crescendo, the nerve endings, which are overloaded with stimulation, “shoot off” to release neurological tension, and then a series of involuntary contractions occur in response. The contractions, which are happening in the uterus and vagina, carry blood away from the genitals and back to the rest of the body.’
It’s actually a myth that there are different types of orgasms. Whatever the way one comes to orgasm, it’s the same thing happening physiologically. Yes, there are different ways to reach orgasm, both externally and internally, but an orgasm is an orgasm.
You can orgasm through solo sex, with a vibrator, through intercourse, or from oral sex. There isn’t a ‘normal’ way to orgasm. You may think how you get there is weird or uncommon, but rest assured we all get in these rhythms of how our bodies get aroused and orgasm, and if you’re wanting to orgasm a different way than you normally do, you can, it’ll just take some practice.
To experience orgasm, you may want to practice on your own through masturbation to figure out what you like, read up on the topic like you’re doing now, relax, give yourself permission to enjoy your body, explore your body, make sure you’re highly aroused, allow time for foreplay with a partner and communicate (cannot stress that enough), practice deep breathing, rock back and forth, and flex or tense your pelvic muscles.
Let’s look at ways to reach orgasm and pleasure techniques you can try.
Four ways to reach orgasm:
1. Clitoral – the most common and is reached through direct stimulation. Eighty percent of women orgasm this way.
To try: Flicking, tapping, indirect touch of surrounding skin of the clit. Consistent and rhythmic touch. Use: fingers, oral play, or a vibrator.
2. Vaginal – this is when there is stimulation internally (by a penis, toy, or finger) on the urethral sponge (part of the internal clitoris), which is connected to the pelvic nerve. Only around 18%-20% of women reach orgasm this way.
To try: Switch up angles and positions. Rather than a partner thrusting in and out, try more of a swirl starting at the opening of the vagina and go deeper. Positions like doggy-style or missionary with a pillow underneath could help. Cowgirl or from the side can also help with the angle for penetration.
3. Cervical – these are rare as it can take much practice to feel sensation in this area, but stimulating the cervix activates the pelvic nerve and bring intense sensations throughout the entire body. Keep in mind some people do not enjoy this and find it more painful if anything.
To try: The penis needs to go deep as only part of the cervix is actually reachable, and it’s at the back of the vagina. Get comfortable on your own first. Fingers may not reach, so a long toy will help. Cowgirl and doggy-style will help, and the time of your cycle can influence sensation. The cervix lowers during menstruation, so period sex may be the right time! This is going to take practice.
4. Blended – while having vaginal intercourse, the external clitoris is being stimulated at the same time.
To try: While penetration is going on, you can stimulate your clit with your fingers or a toy, or your partner can too.
People also report being able to orgasm through thoughts alone, nipple stimulation, erotic dreams, kissing, anal sex, and exercise (brought on by contractions in the pelvic floor, sometimes referred to as coregasms). No orgasm is superior to another, so release mental pressure, have fun, and focus on the pleasure.”
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