There are love languages. There are attachment styles. But other than “vanilla” or “kinky,” there’s not much language to describe our personalities between the sheets … until now.
Jaiya, a somatic sexologist with over 30 years of experience, created the Erotic Blueprint Type, a tool she says “is a way of identifying who you are that gives you a language for understanding how we relate when it comes to intimacy, connection, and sex.” This knowledge helps people communicate their turn-ons and turn-offs in a clear way.
The Energetic Type is turned on by anticipation, space, tease, longing, and yearning. Their superpower is the ability to go into expanded states of consciousness and orgasm without needing to be touched. On the other hand, their Blueprint Shadow indicates that they can short-circuit when approached too quickly. If things feel too intense or too quick, they may dissociate.
The Sensual Type is turned on by all their senses being ignited. They bring the beauty to the erotic experience. However, they can get stuck in their heads, missing out on what is happening in their bodies.
The Sexual Type is turned on by what we think of as sex—penetration, nudity, orgasms. The Sexual brings joy, ease, and fun to sex. However, they can miss out on the journey to the climax and get stuck in a limited definition of what sex is.
The Kinky Type is turned on by what is considered taboo. This Blueprint can play in endless creativity that may include various intense sensations or psychological power games, but their deep shadow is shame for liking what they consider “out of the box” sexuality.
The Shapeshifter Type is turned on by all of it. They are often amazing lovers. However, they often subvert their own voracious needs to please a lover in their Primary Blueprint and find themselves starving in their need for variety and frequency. They have also often been told they are too much or too complex and shut down their bigness to make others feel okay.
Determining your Erotic Blueprint can be done in several ways. All you need is a little time and a lot of curiosity. The first way is to take the online quiz Jaiya developed with her extensive knowledge. She also recommends getting out of your head and trying a somatic (body-based) approach. “A very simple game is to compare touches to see what kind of touches your body prefers based on the different Blueprint Types,” she explains.
In her opinion, the biggest benefit to knowing your Erotic Blueprint “is movement away from shame and towards radical self-acceptance and love. Knowing who you are erotically brings you greater relaxation when with a partner, when enjoying self-pleasure, and when communicating what it is that you need and desire.”
You can pre-order Jaiya’s book Your Blueprint for Pleasure.
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