Sex is not just intercourse and doesn’t always have to include genitals. Sex is a mental, physical, spiritual, and/or emotional erotic connection shared between those involved. For that reason, and thanks to technology, maintaining a healthy sex life in a long-distance relationship (LDR) is doable. Below, I’m sharing eight quick ways to enjoy sex with your partner when you’re far apart. Of course, these are all just suggestions and should only be attempted if both partners are on board. Don’t feel pressured to incorporate anything you’re not comfortable with—just consider these a starting point to get your own creative ideas flowing.
Create a communication plan.
Couples who spend a lot of time apart rely heavily on some form of electronic communication. It’s helpful to agree on how and if you’ll communicate on a daily basis. Couples in a LDR often use a separate app than text messaging for sex. For example, if you use WhatsApp only for sex, then you already know what time it is when you receive a call or message.
Sometimes you just want to see what you can’t feel. Take a picture; it lasts longer. Sending your partner a nude picture when they least expect it can be a beautiful surprise.
I can’t wait to wrap my legs around you … I know, I know! For many people, phone sex can be awkward. But it doesn’t have to be. Just stick to telling your partner what you like, what you’re doing to yourself, and what you want to do to them. Don’t forget to laugh if it gets funny.
If you’re comfortable enough to do this, this is a step above sending nudes. On one of those hectic days when all you can think about is being undressed and caressed by your partner, record yourself masturbating or pleasuring yourself in some way, and send it to them.
This is helpful for those who might be a bit camera shy. Instead of using the camera, send your partner voice clips of you pleasuring yourself. Audio clips provide increased stimulation because your partner gets to imagine what you look like making those sounds.
Technology for the win. You can now purchase a vibrator that can be controlled from wherever you are via an app! That’s right, you can send and receive orgasms, electronically.
Another way to maintain a healthy sex life in a LDR is to watch each other masturbate or pleasure yourselves using a video app.
If technology is a barrier in your LDR, pick up a pen and paper and send your partner all of your nasty, filthy, sexy thoughts in a letter. Add something that reminds your partner of you, such as a scent or lipstick.
Sexless long-distance relationships are a thing of the past. The internet and sex education have proven that you can still maintain a healthy sex life in a LDR if you’re willing to get creative, use your imagination, and explore.
Shamyra Howard is a sexologist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), sex and relationship therapist, and owner of On The Green Couch in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. She specializes in sex and relationship therapy with individuals and couples, including those who identify as LGBTQ+. You can visit her website On The Green Couch for more information about her, her practice, and articles she has contributed to. Find her on Facebook and Instagram as Sexologist Shamyra, or email her questions at [email protected].
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