Watching the “Phrases I’m No Longer Saying” TikTok video by Bare Nutrition Health got me thinking of how powerful words can be. We often rely on clichés and hyperbole for a laugh, but it’s essential to remember that this verbal play has real-world impact.
Our bodies, mindsets, and even our spirits are affected in subtle yet powerful ways. Let’s take a look at what I mean:
Have you ever laughed so hard you couldn’t catch your breath? You probably wiped tears of laughter from your eyes and gasped, “I’m dead!” or “You’re killin’ me!”
Of course, we don’t literally mean either one. But what if I told you that using negative phrases, even when you’re joking, can hold you back from living your best life?
Let’s explore three reasons why and then discover inspiring alternatives that will help you tap into your highest potential.
1. Your brain doesn’t have a sense of humor. Even if you’re just kidding, your brain takes phrases like “I’m dying” or “You’re killin’ me” seriously. Negative self-talk—even if it’s intentionally ironic—can create real-time anxiety, as well as long-term chronic stress.
2. Negative phrases tend to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you’re constantly making jokes about how tired or broke you are, you start believing those stories, and the stories begin to manifest in your reality.
3. The reticular activating system (RAS), aka the brain’s “gatekeeper” of information, is always on duty. The RAS filters important information for the brain to process, including words and phrases you use a lot. The more we use certain words, the higher the RAS puts them on its priority list. Like, if you’re telling yourself that you’ll never find your dream job, your brain “helpfully” finds roadblocks to confirm your belief.
What should you say instead?
Since words carry power, why not use them to your advantage? Aim for uplifting, thoughtful language when you’re describing your experience.
Here’s how:
1. Two of the most powerful words you can use are “I am.” Remind yourself often: I am strong. I am free. I am creative. I am joyful. If you want to make your words even more potent, tap into your positive emotions while you’re speaking.
2. Take ownership of your words every single day. Empowering words and phrases like “I’ve got this!” or “I’m having so much fun!” or “Everything works out for me!” can quickly shift your outlook, so your brain looks for supporting evidence. With practice, you can retrain your brain to focus on the bright side and invite even more of it into your life!
3. No toxic positivity, please! Positive self-talk is an effective way to elevate your worthiness. But don’t get me wrong. I don’t stand for toxic positivity. When you start speaking kindly to yourself, it helps you bounce back from challenges and lean into positive changes.
4. Finally (and remember this!), to create your best life, watch your words. Choose words that sync up with the best version of your life that you can imagine. Take a few minutes each day to notice how you talk to yourself, and make sure it’s coming from a place of love. Remember, your strengths, creativity, and intuition will flow when your words are genuinely life-affirming.
5. By choosing your words wisely and watching how you speak to yourself—from the little things to your biggest dreams—you can create a more powerful version of your life. Commit to being more mindful with your words and watch your world transform.
An authority on spiritual intelligence, Dr. Robyn McKay is a top advisor to high EQ executives and leaders at Fortune 500 companies, as well as elite-level performers in entrepreneurship, sports and entertainment.
Robyn is known as a “whole brain” coach, and she often tells her clients, “I can work with your intellectual abilities and your emotions, but I can’t help you to truly transform unless I know your soul.” Her coaching process takes her clients through a clinical personality test called the NEO, to uncover their intellectual and emotional abilities and then supports them to self-actualize!
Robyn has a PhD in counseling psychology from the University of Kansas, where she studied diverse concepts ranging from spiritual intelligence and personal development to positive psychology and creativity. Her distinct range of tools that span from the spiritual to the scientific serves as the baseline to her unique approach to transformational leadership and innovation.
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