I’ve witnessed many people deny their dreams because they’re scared of rejection. This happens all the time when it comes to careers and passions, as well as with dating and relationships.
Many of us see rejection as a form of humiliation or defeat. But there’s another way to view it. I believe that rejection is a form of protection. I trust that when something doesn’t work out how I planned, it’s because there’s something even better in store for me.
If you choose to see rejection as guidance, then fear dissolves. If you get turned down by someone you asked out, it’s because someone better is on the way. If your offer on a house falls through, it’s because that house wasn’t for you. If someone else gets your dream job, then it wasn’t really your dream job.
Accepting rejection as guidance gives you an awesome opportunity to strengthen your faith in a plan better than your own. Releasing the fear of rejection frees you up to dream big and take action with confidence.
I know it’s not always easy to do a 180 on how you perceive something, and rejection is a tough one. So here are two simple, practical things you can do to let go of the fear of rejection.
1. Take action without expectation.
The fear of rejection can be so strong that it keeps you from doing anything at all. Lift the pressure by dropping ALL expectations. Instead of going on a date wondering if he’ll be The One, lower the stakes. Make your goal to be present and enjoy the conversation.
If you want to do something creative, whether you make jewelry or have an idea for a podcast, just do it! Do it for the sake of doing it, and put it out there without expecting a single person to find it. Give yourself permission to have fun, get creative, and not care about the outcome.
When you shift your energy, your new positivity and excitement will come through in your words, your actions, and your work. As a result, you’ll attract people and situations that are equally high-vibe.
2. Become open to creative possibilities.
We spend a lot of time and energy trying to control situations, and this is definitely true when it comes to avoiding rejection. We think WE know what’s best for us and become determined to do whatever it takes to achieve it. But when our controlling ways don’t get us what we want, we feel crushed.
So instead of trying to make things go your way, experiment with this mantra: “I’m open to creative possibilities.” Meditate on it for a few minutes each morning before you get out of bed. Write it down where you can see it. Repeat it silently throughout the day.
In my book The Universe Has Your Back, I teach about how obstacles are detours in the right direction. When we choose to see difficult experiences with a more loving perspective, we can find deeper meaning and personal growth amid the discomfort. Maybe we can discover a higher purpose, connect with someone, or even be set on a path that will redirect our life in a positive way.
When you become open to creative possibilities and choose to see obstacles as detours in the right direction, you’ll start noticing very cool things. Inspired ideas will pop into your mind seemingly out of nowhere. You’ll see opportunities you otherwise would’ve ignored. Rejection won’t crush you because you’ll know there’s so much else out there waiting for you to discover it.
Gabrielle Bernstein is the #1 New York Times best-selling author of The Universe Has Your Back and has written five additional best sellers. She was featured on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday as a “next-generation thought leader” and The Oprah Winfrey Network chose Gabrielle to be part of the “Super Soul 100” a dynamic group of 100 trailblazers whose vision and life’s work are bringing a higher level of consciousness to the world. The New York Times identified her as “a new role model.” In September 2019 Gabby launches her seventh book entitled, Super Attractor.
