PMS. No, not the hormonal condition.
We’re talking Perfect Moment Syndrome, and it’s a thing. A very real thing. Perfect Moment Syndrome may sound like something made up and joked about in a sitcom, but it is a psychological condition.
It is a condition in which we possess extremely unrealistic expectations of special life events that are absolutely unattainable.
Perfect Moment Syndrome relates to those big life events, such as a birthday party celebration, a wedding, the birth of your child, or even a vacation. It is through these events you may expect things to transpire absolutely perfectly and exactly as desired.
In recent times, Perfect Moment Syndrome has been exacerbated by the rise of social media. We feel the need to create a perfect highlight reel or carousel of posts for our feed, showing our peers how ‘perfect’ our lives are. This translates into increased pressure to have those special events in our lives unfold flawlessly and be the pinnacle of perfection, which is unrealistic, and downright impossible.
Even though it is normal (and healthy!) to have expectations of how things will happen in life, attaching ourselves to those expectations and the outcome is unhealthy. It leads to anxiety, disappointment, and depression.
Here is the issue with PMS: Our expectations are so high of exactly how something should happen, they create high levels of anxiety in anticipation of the event(s) and deep disappointment/depressive feelings following the event. These strict expectations for how an event needs to be can rob us of reality and take us away from the present because we’re so immersed in the future.
Perfect Moment Syndrome is more commonly found among type-A perfectionists who have a history of anxiety. These individuals crave control, and it’s often due to feeling like they had to perform, be perfect, or behave a certain way in order to be loved, accepted, and worthy.
Ok, I suffer from Perfect Moment Syndrome. Now what?! Do not despair, there’s a way to curb it.
It can be helpful to explore the root cause of our unrealistically high expectations, our need for perfection and control, and our obsession with image. By connecting those dots to the patterns of our childhood/upbringing, we can gain awareness and insight into why we possess PMS. This awareness is key to disengaging Perfect Moment Syndrome.
When we meditate, we calm our anxiety. We can change our thought patterns—and therefore, our behavior—more quickly. Meditation births mindfulness and helps us train our minds to be present instead of future-oriented. When we are present, we plan less, we think ahead less, and we can cultivate joy in the way our lives are right here and now. We then shift away from Perfect Moment Syndrome.
To minimize Perfect Moment Syndrome, get clear about your expectations regarding an upcoming experience. Try journaling about them. And then get very real with yourself about these expectations. Are they realistic? Ask yourself challenging questions like why you expect things to go a certain way, and what it would mean and how it would feel for you if it went another way.
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