Why Is Crying So Pleasurable?

No matter how much someone protests, everyone of a certain age has done some version of the ugly cry.

Those tears are usually triggered by some form of emotional devastation, such as romantic disappointment, betrayal, loss, anger, or fear. Although these are all valid reasons to let the waterworks flow, they also give crying a bad rep.

TBH, crying needs a PR makeover because, in addition to physically releasing negative emotions from the body, it can actually be—dare we say—pleasurable. Erica Basso, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, helps us break down why crying during a breakdown can feel soooo good.

There are chemicals between us.

There’s actual science behind why the act of crying brings about pleasure. “If you experience a mood boost during or after a good cry session, your body is releasing oxytocin and endogenous opioids, also known as endorphins,” Erica says. These are known as the “feel-good chemicals,” which ease physical and emotional pain.

She continues, saying that as we cry, these hormones affect the whole body by releasing tension and allowing us to relax into the present moment. “When we are truly present, we gain mental clarity. Perhaps your perspective shifts to a more positive viewpoint as a byproduct of a healthy, feel-good cry session.”

Erica also adds that crying can activate our parasympathetic nervous system, which can be a way to self-soothe. “Our body registers that we are safe enough to find pleasure in the moment,” she explains.

Not all cries are created equal.

Now, just because crying can be pleasurable, that doesn’t mean that every cry will feel good. Erica notes that the reasons why you cry and who sees you cry play a large part in whether the crying helps or hurts your emotional state.

“It makes sense that crying can lead to positive feelings and a perspective shift if we are surrounded by safe, supportive people.” But Erica points out that not everyone has such people in their life to turn to in difficult times. People who lack support or believe that crying is shameful and embarrassing may feel worse after crying instead of better.