Today, I’m walking you through how to de-escalate drama in your life and create a new set point within. Learn the key factors below.
Don’t Confuse Drama with Significance
I learned this motto from my spiritual teacher. All too often we confuse drama with significance. If it’s big and overblown then it must be important, worthy of our full attention. We allow ourselves to get tossed around emotionally by dramatic people and situations. As familiar as it is to have drama come knocking at our front door on the reg, it wreaks havoc on our nervous system long-term. It definitely messes with our sense of stability and security. And it gets harder to reset as drama finds its way to us with more frequency and urgency. We eventually become a heat-seeking missile for out-of-proportion, over-the-top experiences because of their addictive quality.
Here’s the deal. We don’t have to assign importance to them just because they’re dramatic. If we consistently hold space for drama, it might simply mean our internal set point is one of high enturbulated emotions. When we feel yanked around by others’ actions or life events, we have decided somewhere within us, that this is what being alive looks and feels like. Maybe it’s what we were surrounded with growing up as it was once modeled to us as “adult,” and we don’t yet know it can be different. Remember that we have the power to shift that misperception at any time. We can create a new way of walking through drama when it appears, by not letting it get the best of us, or getting sucked into its destructive vortex.
State of Responsibility
We can instead, when dramatic things get blown out, decide we don’t have to entertain them at all. That we could assume full responsibility for our state regardless of what comes down the pipeline. Sure, it might at first feel as if we’re missing out, and we might even go as far as saying our life is more static and boring without extreme highs and lows. But maybe we could instead assign value to our serenity and a newfound inner poise. We could just allow that drama to pass us on by, while focusing on curating peace within and around us at all costs.
Just go ahead and make a conscious commitment to not resonate with drama. Move into a state of being that’s more neutral around all areas of your life. This takes time and diligence. You will be baited and tempted to rejoin others in their dramatic shenanigans, or you might notice yourself trying to ratchet things up a notch here and there. When that happens, remind yourself that you prefer a simpler life, and that nothing has the power to draw you into it unless you allow it to. And you’re strong. You’re powerful. You are now choosing to show up in your life maturely, with an emotional through line that can deliver you contentment and steadiness.
I’d rather be happy than right
A great way to sidestep drama is to actively move into acceptance around everyone and everything around you. This is key. Giving everyone the dignity of their choices on their respective paths. Remember that they have the right to make their own decisions, and you get to decide who you want to be in relation to them, making your own choices accordingly. It’s also trusting you’re right where you need to be, and if you accept that—taking steps toward what you want instead, without railing against what’s in front of you (knowing everything changes and you have the power to shift it)—you can quiet that internal noise. You’ll change your inner landscape to calm, because you’re accepting things as they are, and what’s happening outside of you has less of a toehold. You’ll be less apt to blow it all up on a drama bender.
When you absolutely “get” that you’re responsible for your inner state and you’re reframing everything in a positive way, drama has no fertile soil to take root in. Drama can’t grow there. It can exist. But it doesn’t stick to your energetic field and you’re uninterested in participating. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Who’s the ringmaster now?
So, drama-free one. You’re changing up significance with your shifted values around interactions with others and life outcomes to peace, gratitude, and deep allowing. The internal frequency of drama inevitably changes stations to follow suit. Your inner compass will seek out other experiences that are more resonant with your new gold standard. Drama falls away. Life unfolds in its usual manner with ups and downs, but there is balance within you, and quite possibly, a semblance of contentment that regularly shows up in all of your experiences. This is where the good grows.
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