Many women will experience painful sex at some point in their life. This can be for several reasons, but the two most common are tight pelvic floor muscles and poor pelvic fascia health.
That’s right—your pelvic floor should not be tight. And if it is, the doggy-style sexual position, among others, might hurt sometimes or all the time.
Stabbing pain in the pelvic area for females is never a good thing, and when you want to try doggy style or similar sex positions, it just doesn’t work. Most positions that involve being on your hands (or elbows) and knees tilt your pelvis and can cause pain, especially for those with excessive tightness in the pelvic floor.
Pain in these situations may result from a hypertonic pelvic floor, a condition where the pelvic floor muscles stay tight and can’t relax.
The pelvic floor, which surrounds the vagina, gives the sensation of tightness. If the pelvic floor is overly tight, it may cause pain and problems when going to the bathroom and during intercourse.
So what’s a woman to do? Restoring proper tension in the pelvic floor can help ease painful intercourse.
Read on to discover some simple techniques, along with more permanent methods, that offer a natural solution.
Tweaks for a Pain-Free Doggy-Style Session
1. Relax the pelvic floor. We often carry a lot of tension and strong emotions in our pelvic floor, which can cause it to spasm. Focus on the pelvic floor when you are in this position, and picture it stretching. Adjust the tilt of your hips, and find a position that feels better.
2. Breathe deeply. Focus on diaphragmatic breathing. As you inhale deeply, envision and feel the pelvic floor gently lowering and relaxing. Shallow breathing makes the pelvic floor rigid and tight and will not relieve painful sex.
3. Use natural lubrication. Although you should regularly do pelvic floor exercises and fascial work for pelvic floor health (even in your 20s), natural lubrication supports smoother penetration and less friction during sex.
4. Find a comfortable speed and depth. In this position, your partner can often penetrate deeper, sometimes touching the cervix, which can be painful for some women. Hard thrusts can also be painful, so it is important that in this position, and all positions, you use your words to communicate the speed and depth that you want.
How To Eliminate Painful Doggy Style
The tips listed above can provide relief for some women, but others have an extremely high level of tension that requires a different approach. Painful intercourse may be caused by pelvic floor dysfunction. In such cases, the root cause must be addressed to restore the pelvic floor’s tone and elasticity.
Exercises (no, not Kegels) can help. Focus on exercises that both strengthen your pelvic floor and help it relax with concentric and eccentric contractions. Discuss potential exercises with a doctor or a trained physical therapist for more personalized tips.
Making Sex More Enjoyable
Let’s face it—painful sex is not what most of us want. It can wreak havoc on your sex drive, relationship, and self-esteem. Although some people ignore it, using these tweaks and working to improve pelvic health for a more permanent solution can transform your sex life.
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Courtney Virden is a pelvic floor expert, fitness trainer, and founder of iCORE Method. Her iCORE Method app with core and pelvic floor programs is used by women worldwide to restore pelvic floor health and wellness. This highly sought-after programming from iCORE Method helps women heal from pelvic floor dysfunction and greatly improves sexual satisfaction. She offers monthly subscriptions, and challenges, and has new content monthly on the app.
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