So you’ve decided to try affirmations to massively uplevel something in your life. Yay!
All the gurus preach the power of positive affirmations, which is a practice of verbally repeating new beliefs or habits until they become reality.
Maybe you’re looking to call in more self-confidence, a soulmate, or stacks of cash. You start scribbling “I am healthy, wealthy, and wise” all over your journal pages. You scatter affirmation Post-it notes all over your bathroom mirror.
But instead of feeling a sensational shift of energy, you feel … nothing. What could you possibly be doing wrong?
There’s usually two reasons behind why your affirmation practice isn’t working:
The first and most common reason is because you feel like you’re lying to yourself.
If the affirmation seems too “out there,” you may develop an internal conflict between what you’re doing and how you actually feel (which psychologists call “cognitive dissonance”). An example would be if you’re trying to affirm “I am a gorgeous goddess” when you actually believe you look like a sad potato. Your brain is not convinced.
To solve this dilemma, I recommend using a “stepping-stone affirmation” to bridge the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. The key is to affirm a belief that stretches you outside your comfort zone, but isn’t so extreme that it backfires on you. You can use words like “I am in the process of …” or “I am open to …” to lead the way.
For example, “I am in the process of learning to see my own beauty.”
Before I attracted my husband, I struggled with believing the affirmation “I am spoiled and adored” because I had only dated very toxic men in the past. So instead, I changed my affirmation to “I am open to the idea that I could be treated like a princess.”
And it worked!
As your faith develops, your affirmations will also evolve and develop. So keep working your way up and stretching your limits, like how you work your way up the weights at the gym.
The second and most fixable reason is that you're giving up too soon.
Ask yourself: Where is that sense of urgency coming from?
Even though we’d all love to wave a magic wand, there’s still a step-by-step process that needs to happen. All new habits take weeks to form. But some of the deeper beliefs you’re looking to change have probably existed for years or decades. Instead of beating yourself up over slow progress, have some compassion for your efforts. Remember that it’s one tiny sentence going up against years of conditioning.
Try keeping up your patience for at least three weeks before scrapping your efforts. A little bit of persistence and an accountability buddy can go a long way.
With these two quick fixes in mind, you are now on your way to affirming and attracting beautiful things into your life. And if you get stuck again, just affirm this: “I am strong, capable, and able to overcome any obstacles or setbacks that come my way.”
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