Many of us have heard the saying, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans!” I think we have all been guilty at one time or another of over-planning our lives. We seem to want to plan everything: have a particular career, get married by a certain age, have kids or not, live in a particular place, meet certain goals, and so on. Our lives take twists and turns, and we need to learn how to adapt, let go of certain ideas of how our lives “should” look, and embrace what we can control and what we can’t.
I am the perfect example of this. My decision to become a counselor and a writer was birthed from a difficult and challenging life experience that I could have never foreseen. I surely didn’t plan for my life to unfold the way it did, but in retrospect, it all happened for a reason, the way it should have, and I am so grateful for it.
I know what I do for a living is my calling and my true purpose, and it is what I am most happy doing.
When life throws us a curveball, try to not to catastrophize when things do not go your way. Catastrophizing refers to the bad habit many of us have of turning a bad situation into the worst situation. When something we don’t plan occurs, we use it to create a doomsday scenario about our whole lives, making up a story about our future, and succumbing to fear, worry, and doubt.
There are many types of catastrophizing, but the most common is “future-tripping,” where we think of all the things that might go wrong in a future situation or relationship.
Positive messaging can help stop the catastrophizing, and positive self-talk can be helpful to turn negative thinking around.
Try this positive messaging:
“Life is always changing. I might be down now, but things will change soon enough.”
“Everybody makes mistakes. I’ll do what I can to fix this, and I’ll try to do better next time.”
“I have what it takes to handle any situation that comes my way.”
“If I don’t have the solution, I can ask someone for help. I have what it takes to ask for help.”
“Everything happens for a reason. I will seek the lesson.”
These types of positive reinforcements start to rewire our brains for more stability and realism in our lives. Try it out, and you’ll start to see how every situation has several sides to it, and how you can interpret adversity more as a challenge or adventure, and less as a catastrophe.
Focus on what you can control. Plan financially, get a savings account, and take control of your health if you can. Create a healthy routine with what you eat and how you sleep, rest, and move. Be mindful of who you let in your life and make sure you are surrounded by positive and healthy people. Positive affirmations daily can help us gain confidence, boost self-esteem, and start to rewire the pathways in our brain that tend to focus on what is wrong instead of what is right.
Using Positive Affirmations
Affirmations are any positive statements that affirm something you would like to be true about yourself or your life. Some examples are:
“I am in the right place, doing the right thing, at the right time.”
“I have enough, I do enough, I am enough.”
“I give and receive love with ease.”
“I am worthy of love, success, peace, and health.”
Why are affirmations so effective? Because, as we’ve learned, our thoughts become our reality. What we say to ourselves and affirm each day becomes our living, breathing experience. Everything in our world began as a thought.
You can say: “I am beautiful.” “I am valuable.” “My thoughts and feelings matter deeply.” As you hear these new messages, your brain will begin to respond. Your whole mental environment will start to flourish.
For more information on these topics, go to www.rewiredprograms.com.
Shop self-help books below: