Skip to main content
Close Close

Congratulations
You're on the list.

Make sure to check your spam folder so that our emails are always delivered into your inbox.
xo, Kourt
Give your inbox
and your life

the Poosh it needs.
By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
Free Shipping on All Domestic Orders.
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KKB
Poosh
  • instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
  • Shop
  • search
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • Sexual Wellness
  • soul
Weird Dreams? These are the Most Common Culprits
Weird Dreams? These are the Most Common Culprits
What Is Shadow Work and How Do I Start It?
What Is Shadow Work and How Do I Start It?
What To Avoid When You’re Newly Dating Someone
What To Avoid When You’re Newly Dating Someone
3 Ways Bondage Can Bring You Closer Together
3 Ways Bondage Can Bring You Closer Together
5-Minute Wake-Up Pilates Routine
5-Minute Wake-Up Pilates Routine
These Are the Most Important Supplements for Brain Health
These Are the Most Important Supplements for Brain Health
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
You’re Giving Compliments Wrong
You’re Giving Compliments Wrong
How to get Naturally Plump Lips in Minutes
How to get Naturally Plump Lips in Minutes
We’re Loving Latte Makeup for Fall—Here are the 3 Must-Have Products You Need For It
We’re Loving Latte Makeup for Fall—Here are the 3 Must-Have Products You Need For It
How To Keep Your Tan After Summer, According to Jennifer Lopez’s Spray Tan Artist
How To Keep Your Tan After Summer, According to Jennifer Lopez’s Spray Tan Artist
Kendall’s Stylist Shares Her 5 Must-Know Fall Fashion Trends
Kendall’s Stylist Shares Her 5 Must-Know Fall Fashion Trends
The Body Cream That Transformed my Skin
The Body Cream That Transformed my Skin
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
Apple Nachos Are the Perfect Fall Snack
Apple Nachos Are the Perfect Fall Snack
Stacey Bendet’s Ginger Tea Recipe 
Stacey Bendet’s Ginger Tea Recipe 
Chef K’s Vegan Churros with Vegan Chocolate Ganache
Chef K’s Vegan Churros with Vegan Chocolate Ganache
3 Minimal-Effort Recipes To Bring to a Labor Day Party
3 Minimal-Effort Recipes To Bring to a Labor Day Party
Kourt’s Favorite Egg Salad Salad
Kourt’s Favorite Egg Salad Salad
Chef K’s Mini Matcha Magpies
Chef K’s Mini Matcha Magpies
  • family
  • kourtney
Kourt’s New Weekly Tea Rotation During Her Pregnancy
Kourt’s New Weekly Tea Rotation During Her Pregnancy
Kourt’s First-Trimester Tips
Kourt’s First-Trimester Tips
5 Things To Know About Kourt’s New-ish Wellness Practice: Brain Mapping
5 Things To Know About Kourt’s New-ish Wellness Practice: Brain Mapping
Kourt’s Top Pregnancy Snacks
Kourt’s Top Pregnancy Snacks
Why Panchakarma is Kourt’s Holy Grail Detox
Why Panchakarma is Kourt’s Holy Grail Detox
How Last Weekend’s Gender Reveal Party Came Together in Less Than 48 Hours
How Last Weekend’s Gender Reveal Party Came Together in Less Than 48 Hours
What are you looking for?

Menu

  • Shop
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • Sexual Wellness
    • soul
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • KKB
    • family
    • kourtney
  • LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Sexual Wellness

What's the Difference Between KINK and  FETISH?

By Poosh
share on pinterest share on facebook share on twitter Share on Flipboard share by email
 Photo credit @peraznalove
@peraznalove

Short on time? Poosh here for the summary.

Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, and we do our research to craft a story that answers as many questions as we can. The topic of our latest submission: the difference between kink and fetish. 

Here to help us break this down are sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, MA—sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand and retailer, and Angie Rowntree—founder and director of the award-winning site Sssh.com, the premier destination for sex-positive, ethical porn made from a woman’s point of view. 

What is a kink?

“‘Kink” is a broad term used to describe a vast array of sexual activities, fantasies, or desires that exist outside the conventional expressions of adult sexuality. But then again, who says what is “conventional” and what is not? 

Depending your personal preferences—or on the broader social culture at any given moment—sex acts that were considered taboo and “kinky” five minutes ago might become more mainstream and accepted. So the lines can easily be blurred–even if we still call a kink a kink. 

That said, most people regard BDSM play of any kind as synonymous with “kink.” Kink, though, can also encompass spanking or impact play, JOI (jerk-off instructions), roleplay, sex toys, sensation play, exhibitionism, voyeurism, and much more.

As we continue to learn more about human sexuality, it seems that even the most “vanilla” among us allow themselves to fantasize about different sexual flavors. And PS: “It’s perfectly normal and ok to have sexual fantasies that you would not want to act out in real life.” —Angie Rowntree

What is a fetish?

“A fetish is something that is objectified and used for someone’s sexual pleasure. For instance, if someone likes feet and needs them for sexual pleasure, they might fantasize about feet and/or have feet in their sexual experience, particularly if they want to experience orgasm.” —Marla Renee Stewart

“Among the myriad of expressions for sexual desire, a fetish is a very specific type of intense desire or fixation on an object, body part, or activity that may not seem expressly sexual in nature either. It is important to realize that many people engage in fetishistic behaviors just as a matter of course in terms of seeking out their various sexual preferences (i.e. preferring a hair color, pantyhose, or specific types of clothing, large breasts, shoes, etc). 

“However, a bona fide fetish can present a desire or fixation that is so intense, a person might require that fetish to be part of any sexual encounter in order to achieve orgasm. For instance, a person with a foot fetish might need to wear or see high heels on their partner and/or need foot play or toe-sucking to be part of the sexual act.
 
“Someone with a latex fetish might need to touch or wear the material. Someone with a balloon fetish might need to touch balloons. Fetishes truly run the gamut in terms of what causes some people to fixate their arousal. As long as fetish play is explored with full consent of all participants, fetish play can certainly be part of a healthy sex life. Always remember that all BDSM and fetish play is safe, sane, and consensual.” —Angie Rowntree

What are the differences between the two?

“It is clear that ‘kink’ is a term used to describe an incredibly wide range of sexual activities, whereas a fetish is actually the tendency to fixate on a very specific object of desire or experience. A kink can enhance a sexual encounter for the participants. However, they are also capable of being gratified without kink play. 

“Again—as long as your kinks and fetishes are safe, sane, and consensual, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. As with anything else in your sex life, open and honest communication between partners is key. If you are ever concerned or anxious about your fetishes or kinks, or are concerned about your partner’s, it never hurts to seek out a licensed sex therapist for help.”—Angie Rowntree

Up next, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Poosh newsletter.

TL;DR

“A kink is something that is particular to that person. One person's kink may not be another person's kink. A fetish is something that is objectified and used for someone's sexual pleasure. Fetish is needed for their orgasm or sexual pleasure, while having a kink is not.” —Marla Renee Stewart

You may also like...

Go to article This Synchronized Technique Could Be the Key to More Orgasms
Sexual Wellness

This Synchronized Technique Could Be the Key to More Orgasms

Go to article How to Acclimate to a Partner With a Larger Penis
Sexual Wellness

How to Acclimate to a Partner With a Larger Penis

Related Articles

Goes to article This “Starter Vibrator” Will Make You Feel Like an Expert
Sexual Wellness

This “Starter Vibrator” Will Make You Feel Like an Expert

Goes to article Try These Tweaks for Pain-Free Doggy Style
Sexual Wellness

Try These Tweaks for Pain-Free Doggy Style

Goes to article It’s Time to Embrace Period Sex
Sexual Wellness

It’s Time to Embrace Period Sex

Goes to article How To Teach Your Partner What To Do in Bed Without Hurting Their Ego
Sexual Wellness

How To Teach Your Partner What To Do in Bed Without Hurting Their Ego

Goes to article Orgasm Your Way to Self-Enlightenment
Sexual Wellness

Orgasm Your Way to Self-Enlightenment

Goes to article 5 Unique Masturbation Tips and Tricks
Sexual Wellness

5 Unique Masturbation Tips and Tricks

Goes to article This Synchronized Technique Could Be the Key to More Orgasms
Sexual Wellness

This Synchronized Technique Could Be the Key to More Orgasms

Goes to article Why Is Sex Painful for Some People?
Sexual Wellness

Why Is Sex Painful for Some People?

  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Reviewed by Allyant for Accessibility
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved