Skip to main content
Close Close

Congratulations
You're on the list.

Make sure to check your spam folder so that our emails are always delivered into your inbox.
xo, Kourt
Give your inbox
and your life

the Poosh it needs.
By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
Free Shipping on All Domestic Orders.
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KMK
Poosh
  • Poosh Your Wellness
  • instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
  • Shop
  • search
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • Sexual Wellness
  • soul
Do Allergies Get Worse as We Age?
Do Allergies Get Worse as We Age?
Why Kourtney Drinks Beet Juice Every Morning Before Her Workout 
Why Kourtney Drinks Beet Juice Every Morning Before Her Workout 
The Somatic Benefits of Shaking
The Somatic Benefits of Shaking
How to Make Your Salad Less Sad
How to Make Your Salad Less Sad
Your Essential Mineral Cheat Sheet
Your Essential Mineral Cheat Sheet
WTF Are Heart Rate Zones?
WTF Are Heart Rate Zones?
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
Self-Growth Hack: Small Ways to Hold Yourself Accountable
Self-Growth Hack: Small Ways to Hold Yourself Accountable
Summer Dresses You Can Wear Into Fall 
Summer Dresses You Can Wear Into Fall 
The Poosh 30-Day Mask Challenge 
The Poosh 30-Day Mask Challenge 
The Surprising Benefits of Buccal Facial Massage
The Surprising Benefits of Buccal Facial Massage
Under $50: How to Organize Your Pantry Like a Kardashian
Under $50: How to Organize Your Pantry Like a Kardashian
Chestne Hacks Everyone Should Know
Chestne Hacks Everyone Should Know
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
How to Make Pineapple + Banana Vegan Whip
How to Make Pineapple + Banana Vegan Whip
Chocolate Chip Banana Bread Baked Oats
Chocolate Chip Banana Bread Baked Oats
The Easiest Cucumber Salad for Summer
The Easiest Cucumber Salad for Summer
2-Ingredient Oat Tortillas Recipe
2-Ingredient Oat Tortillas Recipe
Recreating Kylie’s Crispy Sandwich
Recreating Kylie’s Crispy Sandwich
How to Make Health Nut Original House Dressing at Home
How to Make Health Nut Original House Dressing at Home
  • family
  • kourtney
Why Kourtney Drinks Beet Juice Every Morning Before Her Workout 
Why Kourtney Drinks Beet Juice Every Morning Before Her Workout 
Kourt’s Matcha Protein Bites
Kourt’s Matcha Protein Bites
The Kravis Guide to Eating Vegan in LA
The Kravis Guide to Eating Vegan in LA
Kourt’s No-Makeup Glow Routine
Kourt’s No-Makeup Glow Routine
Penelope’s 10th Birthday Details
Penelope’s 10th Birthday Details
The Most Helpful Things Kourt Has Learned Since Having COVID Again
The Most Helpful Things Kourt Has Learned Since Having COVID Again
What are you looking for?

Menu

  • Shop
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • Sexual Wellness
    • soul
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • KMK
    • family
    • kourtney
  • LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • Poosh Your Wellness
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Relationships

The Importance of Setting Boundaries in a  TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

By Poosh
share on pinterest share on facebook share on twitter Share on Flipboard share by email
 Photo credit Brigitte Bardot in Saint-Tropez, 1959
Brigitte Bardot in Saint-Tropez, 1959

Relationships are complex as hell. Every individual is an intricate being, formed of specific, accumulated experiences. Put two people together, and it can either be harmonious or volatile. Every relationship requires boundaries—it’s the lifeblood of a healthy connection. Of course, there are people who are just plain bad for each other.

Michelle Afont, relationship expert, divorce lawyer, and multi-published author whose most recent work includes The Dang Factor, helps us decode what “bad” or “good” means in romantic relationships, and where to draw lines in the sand. She puts the bottom line at the top: “Love should feel good. There should be a sense of peace and well-being within your relationship. If your connection lacks comfort, you are likely in a toxic relationship.” We’ll start there.

If you’re less than happy but not sure why or where to place feelings of blame, Afont is here to help. There is a lot of gray area in relationships, of course, but Afont believes when it comes to love, it’s black and white—good love and bad love. “Good love feels good. Good love feels warm and secure. Good love moves forward in a natural path to solid commitment and a healthy future together.”

If you’re lacking the above, consider the opposite. “Bad love is toxic, and bad love is bad for you.” It hurts. It’s “one-sided love and lopsided adoration.” It’s without common life goals. It’s stagnant, it lacks respect, and it lacks boundaries. Afront reiterates that every relationship requires basic boundaries, but a toxic relationship involves a different type of boundary that starts within yourself.

So try setting the lines, and see if your partner can respect them. “In healthy relationships, not crossing a line is an easy task. However, boundaries in a toxic relationship are much more challenging. In a toxic environment, with control issues at the forefront, setting boundaries is often ineffective unless you are committed to enforcing the consequences of the unwanted toxic behavior.

In other words, set the boundary for your toxic partner, but from that point forward, the boundary needs to be within you. It is vital that you take ownership of your boundaries as to what you will and will not tolerate in the relationship. Setting boundaries is easy. Enforcing boundaries is what counts.

Take responsibility for your future and the type of relationship you allow yourself to be in. Spending too much time in an unhealthy relationship does nothing to further your goals of peaceful love. Unlike fine wine, a toxic connection does not get better with age. The more time that is allowed to pass, the more toxic it will become. It is important to be aware how much of your life coin you are giving away to a relationship that in all likelihood will not improve.” Time is money, baby.

It’s easy to get lost in the newness of something, or to believe someone’s desperate declarations of “love” for years, even if their actions far from match them. “If you allow the behavior to continue by staying in the relationship, you have set the stage for acceptance.” And while not all hope is lost, tread lightly. It’s your time and well-being at stake.

Afont throws a bone to hope. “This is not to say that toxic behavior cannot be changed. It can. But it takes commitment and work to make that happen. By setting boundaries within yourself, you will be in control of the path the relationship takes and what you will tolerate. Knowing when to walk away from toxic behavior is the most precious gift you can give yourself.”

Poosh Edit: Best of Bedroom Essentials

Up next, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Poosh newsletter.

You may also like...

Go to article What Is Emotional Addiction?
Relationships

What Is Emotional Addiction?

Go to article Why Do We Think Some People Smell So Good?
Relationships

Why Do We Think Some People Smell So Good?

Related Articles

Goes to article How to Get Over First-Date Stage Fright 
Relationships

How to Get Over First-Date Stage Fright 

Goes to article How to Make New Friends as an Adult
Relationships

How to Make New Friends as an Adult

Goes to article How to Stop Overthinking About Your Crush
mind

How to Stop Overthinking About Your Crush

Goes to article What Is Relationship OCD? 
Relationships

What Is Relationship OCD? 

Goes to article Can Swearing Actually Benefit Your Life and Relationships?
mind

Can Swearing Actually Benefit Your Life and Relationships?

Goes to article What Is Emotional Addiction?
Relationships

What Is Emotional Addiction?

Goes to article Do Certain Love Languages Pair Better Together Than Others?
Relationships

Do Certain Love Languages Pair Better Together Than Others?

Goes to article 6 Red Flags They Have “Lost Boy Energy”
Relationships

6 Red Flags They Have “Lost Boy Energy”

  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Reviewed by Accessible360
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved