We hear you, getting back in the dating world after a breakup can feel both overwhelming and daunting.
But if finding the right partner is something you deeply desire beneath all the mind-made resistance, dating has to be a process you’re open to.
Editor’s note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
Sure, you could meet him unexpectedly on a plane during a time you said you were taking a break from dating, but that’s how you know you were lying to yourself about not being ready.
What I always ask my single clients when they claim they’d like to hit pause on dating is, “If Mr. Knight-in-Shining-Armor—gorgeous, charming, smart, hilarious, kind, honest, loyal, committed—showed up at your door and said, ‘You’re it for me. Let’s go,’ would you really say, ‘No thanks’!?”
Some of you legitimately may not be ready because your heartbreak is so deep, but I don’t believe that a majority of women would shut the door on their dream man if he arrived.
The problem is, you just don’t believe he exists—after all, you’ve now accumulated plenty of evidence to prove the beliefs that dating is “hard” and that there are “no good men left.”
Well, this heartbreak coach is here to say, “BS!”
If you believe there are no good ones left or dating is hard, or you decide your fear of getting hurt is greater than your desire to find love, your result will for sure be that you don’t find him.
Your thoughts create your results.
Now, I’m not asking you to try on a new thought like a new perfume and pretend you suddenly believe he’s out there …
That will never work.
You have to get savvy with your brain and look for ways to open up to authentically know in your bones that he’s coming, because if you were in full belief that he was, you’d for sure show up in an entirely different way.
Here are five things to remember that helped me get back on the dating horse in order to find true love, post-breakup.
Claire Byrne is a heartbreak/finding-love coach, and the host of her podcast, Stop Wanting Him Back & Find Someone Better. Click here for more information on her group program.
