Skip to main content
Close Close

Congratulations
You're on the list.

Make sure to check your spam folder so that our emails are always delivered into your inbox.
xo, Kourt
Give your inbox
and your life

the Poosh it needs.
By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
Free Shipping on All Domestic Orders.
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KKB
Poosh
  • instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
  • Shop
  • search
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • Sexual Wellness
  • soul
This Creamy Lemon Olive Oil Elixir Is the Cure for Water Retention
This Creamy Lemon Olive Oil Elixir Is the Cure for Water Retention
Do These 3 Things for Your Gut and Get the Best Sleep Ever
Do These 3 Things for Your Gut and Get the Best Sleep Ever
3 Reasons to Stop Saying “I’m Dead” and What to Say Instead, According to a Psychologist
3 Reasons to Stop Saying “I’m Dead” and What to Say Instead, According to a Psychologist
This Multitasking SPF Completes My Lazy-Girl Morning Routine
This Multitasking SPF Completes My Lazy-Girl Morning Routine
Are all Calories Created Equal?
Are all Calories Created Equal?
Can a Friend be Your Soulmate?
Can a Friend be Your Soulmate?
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
This Multitasking SPF Completes My Lazy-Girl Morning Routine
This Multitasking SPF Completes My Lazy-Girl Morning Routine
Clean-ish SPFs You’ll Actually Enjoy Wearing
Clean-ish SPFs You’ll Actually Enjoy Wearing
Embracing My Inner Romantic Is the Bravest Thing I’ve Ever Done
Embracing My Inner Romantic Is the Bravest Thing I’ve Ever Done
How This Serum Changed My Morning/Makeup Routine
How This Serum Changed My Morning/Makeup Routine
Quiet Luxury Isn’t a Look—It’s a Whole Mood 
Quiet Luxury Isn’t a Look—It’s a Whole Mood 
Steph Shep Shares Her Fave AAPI Brands To Know and Love
Steph Shep Shares Her Fave AAPI Brands To Know and Love
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
This Creamy Lemon Olive Oil Elixir Is the Cure for Water Retention
This Creamy Lemon Olive Oil Elixir Is the Cure for Water Retention
These Hacks Make Small-Space Living SO Much Easier 
These Hacks Make Small-Space Living SO Much Easier 
Our 7 Most-Shared Recipes 
Our 7 Most-Shared Recipes 
Under $50: Outdoor Entertaining Essentials
Under $50: Outdoor Entertaining Essentials
Kourt’s Coconut Pudding Recipe
Kourt’s Coconut Pudding Recipe
The New Matcha Mule 818 Cocktail Recipe
The New Matcha Mule 818 Cocktail Recipe
  • family
  • kourtney
An Exclusive Peek at Khloé Kardashian’s Blooming Garden Trellis
An Exclusive Peek at Khloé Kardashian’s Blooming Garden Trellis
Why Kourt is Obsessed With Nettle Tea
Why Kourt is Obsessed With Nettle Tea
Under $20: Clever Fridge Organizers Inspired by Kris Jenner
Under $20: Clever Fridge Organizers Inspired by Kris Jenner
The Asian-Inspired Chickpea Salad Kourt Can’t Stop Reaching For 
The Asian-Inspired Chickpea Salad Kourt Can’t Stop Reaching For 
BTS: Kourt and Travis’ Personal Photos from Their Portofino Wedding
BTS: Kourt and Travis’ Personal Photos from Their Portofino Wedding
3 Salads Kourt is Eating on Rotation Right Now
3 Salads Kourt is Eating on Rotation Right Now
What are you looking for?

Menu

  • Shop
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • Sexual Wellness
    • soul
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • KKB
    • family
    • kourtney
  • LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Relationships

The Different  LEVELS OF ATTRACTION

By Poosh
share on pinterest share on facebook share on twitter Share on Flipboard share by email
 Photo credit @olivecooke
@olivecooke

Many people have a checklist of sorts when searching for a partner. Sometimes we make exceptions for that list when some boxes get checked off, while other boxes are non-negotiable. We know it’s a recipe for a fling when we encounter an irresistible person who only meets us on a small number of levels, and other times we know right away that someone has potential to be a longtime love.

Michelle Afont, relationship expert, divorce lawyer, and multi-published author whose most recent work is The Dang Factor, intimately understands each level of attraction and generously clued us in on the intimate details.

“In every relationship, there are different types and levels of attraction,” she started. “In a perfect world, it would be wonderful to find a partner who satisfies all levels and types of attraction.” A “perfect world” makes it sound unattainable, but realistically, it’s precisely what we strive for when finding our next sweetheart. “The more attraction boxes you are able to check in your relationship, the better your chances are for a long and successful partnership.” So get to checkin’! Here’s what to consider.

Editor’s note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.

Sexual Attraction

Hello! Duh. “Sexual attraction is the most powerful component of your relationship and, by far, the most important level of attraction to achieve. A sexually close couple can overcome the hardest of obstacles in their relationship.” While crucial, it’s not everything.

Nurturing Attraction

“The level of peace, comfort, and security that comes to you when your partner nurtures you is indescribable. It is very easy to be attracted to a nurturer. When our partner nurtures us, we feel connected. When we are nurtured, we feel safe and secure. He runs his fingers through your hair. He tells you how beautiful you are. He sends you a text to let you know he has dinner covered. He rubs your feet. He leaves you sweet notes.”

Friendship Attraction

“The old saying, ’marry your best friend,” is spot on. The friendship attraction is like girl time, just with your guy. It’s being able to talk to your partner as if you were talking to your best girlfriend—about anything. Having a partner who is also your friend is true icing on the cake of love.”

Companion Attraction

“When we are attracted to our partner as a companion, we share many of the same interests and activities. We may be attracted to him because we share a love of travel, or cooking, or happy hour. Ideally, the companion attraction should line up with the friendship attraction.”

Sports and Recreation Attraction

“Sports attraction is an attraction to your partner because he loves and participates in the same recreation activities as you. Sports and rec attraction forms a bond that develops out of a common love of something. Sports bonds create unity and fuel an attraction to each other. Friendly competition and pushing each other to excel are great byproducts of a sports attraction.”

Professional Attraction

“A professional attraction is an attraction to the brainpower of your partner. It is an attraction to the drive and professional ambition of your partner. This level of attraction is important because it is the driving force behind the respect you ultimately have for each other.”

Afont reminds us that while we might have our very own nuanced checklist, these categories are the lifeblood of lasting love. “It’s important to keep these in mind as you navigate through the world of dating, or work to fine-tune a lacking category in your current relationship. What may be lacking in one attraction category can be balanced out by an extreme attraction in a different category. Ultimately, with time, effort, and commitment, every level of attraction can be satisfied.” Of course, no need to over-analyze if something is working perfectly right now, but they’re certainly something to consider in order to have your needs met.

Shop our sex and love collection:

Shop Dip Basic Vibrator
Shop Zee Bullet Vibrator
Shop Aer Suction Toy
Shop Pom Flexible Vibrator
Shop Com External Wand Vibrator
Shop Arc G-Spot Vibrator
Shop Eva Couples Vibrator
Shop Fin Finger Vibrator
Shop Let's Get Closer: Couples Edition
Shop Radiant Love Butter
Shop Biodegradable Intimate Wipes
Shop Refresh Daily Wash
Shop Revive Hydrating Mist
Shop Restore Mask
Shop MunkeyBarz Sex Belt
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Ivory
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Atame - Red
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove - Red
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong & Glove Set
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Black
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Ivory
Shop Sydney Double Strand Pearl Thong - Red
Shop Sydney Glove - Black
Shop Sydney Glove - Red
Shop Sydney Glove Set

The content provided in this article is provided for information purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice and consultation, including professional medical advice and consultation; it is provided with the understanding that Poosh, LLC (“Poosh”) is not engaged in the provision or rendering of medical advice or services. The opinions and content included in the article are the views of the interviewee only, and Poosh does not endorse or recommend any such content or information, or any product or service mentioned in the article. You understand and agree that Poosh shall not be liable for any claim, loss, or damage arising out of the use of, or reliance upon any content or information in the article.

Up next, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Poosh newsletter.

You may also like...

Go to article Pick me Girl Syndrome 
Relationships

Pick me Girl Syndrome 

Go to article How to Have an Exorcism-Level Orgasm
Relationships

How to Have an Exorcism-Level Orgasm

Related Articles

Goes to article Can a Friend be Your Soulmate?
Relationships

Can a Friend be Your Soulmate?

Goes to article Is Sacred Sex the Key to Living Your Best Life?
Sexual Wellness

Is Sacred Sex the Key to Living Your Best Life?

Goes to article Why You Need Both Yin and Yang Energy in a Relationship
Relationships

Why You Need Both Yin and Yang Energy in a Relationship

Goes to article Why You Should Sext More
Relationships

Why You Should Sext More

Goes to article Are You Trying To Date a Love Avoidant?
Relationships

Are You Trying To Date a Love Avoidant?

Goes to article Should You Be Using Your Vibrator on Your Boyfriend?
Sexual Wellness

Should You Be Using Your Vibrator on Your Boyfriend?

Goes to article Are Breakup Weekends A Good Idea?
Relationships

Are Breakup Weekends A Good Idea?

Goes to article Is Relationshopping Keeping You From Meeting Someone for Real?
Relationships

Is Relationshopping Keeping You From Meeting Someone for Real?

  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Reviewed by Allyant for Accessibility
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved