Big dick energy—we all know that term (when someone’s presence just oozes with confidence). It’s hot and you either have it or you don’t. It’s not really something you can fake. On the flip side, there is small dick energy (SDE). Which, yes, is the opposite: when someone acts like a tool out of insecurity issues. To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with having insecurities, everyone has some level of them. It’s how you carry and cope with the lack of uncertainty that can make a person fall into the SDE club.
Small dick energy is all flex with no skill or facts to back it up. Need some examples? We’ve got you with a list of habits the Poosh team considers to be SDE. Disclaimer: it’s not just in men, women can have this type of energy too.
Editor’s note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
When he has to tell you how XYZ is hitting him up non-stop (insecure, much?).
When he talks about how much he’s worth (like his bank account). “I actually had a guy who kept telling me he was so rich and if I dated him I’d be able to travel in style. I was like, ‘Thanks. I can also just buy my own first-class ticket. Byeeee.’” – Poosh team member
When he talks bad about his ex (he’ll do the same to you).
When you ask a guy a serious question about the nature or future of your relationship and he deflects/doesn’t answer (be an adult and answer).
When he ghosts you. Someone with BDE would tell you straight up that they aren’t interested because that’s the mature thing to do. An SDE person doesn’t have the balls to say it, they simply ignore and leave you in the dust.
When he brags about literally anything but can never back it up.
When he’s intimidated by your job or work ethic. “I had someone tell me, ‘I typically only date girls who don’t have jobs, and I feel like you work a lot.’” – Poosh team member
When he’s incredibly indecisive and changes his mind all the time, including how he feels about you. Stringing you along much? We’ve got no time for that.
When he mansplains. Enough said.
When he’s controlling. This one screams insecure and you should run, not walk, away from this relationship/person.
When he asks the price of items on the menu at a nice restaurant. Steer clear of a pricey place if it’s not in your budget. Nothing’s sexier than owning the fact that you need to save money, and making responsible spending decisions. If you’re trying to save, pick a cool spot that’s in your budget to avoid feeling uncomfortable and nervous about the bill.
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