We’ve talked about sharing a toothbrush with your significant other. Now, we’re taking the convo to the next level.
Sharing your location.
It’s a hotly debated and divisive topic that often leads to conversations about trust, safety, privacy, and honesty. Is there a clear right or wrong answer? No. Every couple is different and has its own set of boundaries and expectations.
But we still want to know: Do you share your location with your significant other?
We asked the Poosh team, and, as you can imagine, got a range of different perspectives. Keep reading to learn our thoughts, and don’t forget to share your own with us on social media.
“Before getting into this, I want to make it clear by saying we trust each other fully, and we share locations for safety and as a trigger eliminator (for me).
“Early on in our relationship, I noticed that I would feel like my partner didn’t trust me when asking where I was, and this came up a lot since we were semi-long-distance at the time. After taking the time to talk my feelings through, I realized I was constantly upset by his asking because of a bad past relationship. The question ‘Where are you right now?’ constantly came from a controlling and harmful place with my ex who was emotionally and physically abusive. But with my current love, it was coming from a concerned and loving place. Once I recognized this, I had the idea of sharing locations to put his mind at ease and to make it convenient for him to see where I am, just in case. All of our arguments were essentially the same …
‘I told you I was going X, Y, and Z.’
‘Well, I forgot. That’s why I asked you where you were.’
“Now we live together, and it is very uncommon for us to be apart. Before he could see where I was, he wouldn’t need to ask because I would always tell him anyway. After five and a half years of being together, the location sharing is there just in case. I will admit, I do check his location, but only on my laziest of days, so I can see when he will come home from the gym, grocery shopping, or work, and I can estimate what time I need to get out of bed and act as if I have been productive all day, lol.
“I don’t see anything wrong with sharing locations unless you are forcing your partner because you are working through insecurities, have constant anxiety, and do not trust them. Someone who already experiences a lot of anxiety and who constantly checks their partner’s location will soon realize that this only feeds into their fears in an unhealthy way. If you have to force someone to share where they are or constantly check, maybe it’s time to look at what you both want in a relationship and either part ways or come to a healthy resolution.” — Madeline, brand manager
“It took my boyfriend forever to share his location with me. We were long-distance when we first started dating, and I brought up the idea of sharing our locations with each other out of safety concerns. It wasn’t until he had a late-night flight and had to get a taxi to cross the U.S.-Canada border at 2 a.m. (long story) that he finally relented to sharing his.
“If you’re in a long-term relationship, I think sharing your location is totally normal, and, dare I say, reasonable. If I want to call my boyfriend for something, sometimes I’ll check his location first (if he’s at the office, for example, I won’t call). Or if he tells me he’s on his way home and it seems to be taking unusually long, it’s easier to just check his location and see if he’s stuck in traffic (like Madeline, I also want to know when I should get my butt off the couch and look productive). Basically, it all boils down to me trying to eliminate as many phone calls from my day as possible.” — Erika Harwood, managing editor
“In high school, I used to think sharing locations was a rite of passage in any relationship. That someone simply could not be your S.O. unless you knew where they physically were every minute of every day. I wouldn’t even call them my boyfriend unless they shared their location with me. I now laugh at this disoriented concept. While I began to understand that privacy helps instill trust, I no longer set sharing locations as a prerequisite. Allow yourself the freedom to focus on your main character energy rather than stalking them through a phone. Unless they share it on their own … in that case, *side eye emoji*” — Alexa, executive content assistant
“My boyfriend and I started sharing our locations really fast. Before we were even officially dating, he was going on a bike ride across the Brooklyn Bridge, and I made him share his location with me to make sure he didn’t die. That night, we had a conversation about sharing locations, and he was initially very opposed to the idea. I explained that it was mainly for my sanity and practicality, like knowing how far he was and estimating his arrival time. He thought it was a bit crazy, but he agreed to it. Fast forward, we both rely on having each other for everything. It’s so helpful and neither of us would think twice about sharing with other people that we know.” — Alix, senior brand manager
“After personal experience, I have concluded it is healthier to not share your location with your significant other. When my ex and I had each other’s locations I found myself checking it too frequently. At first, I convinced myself it was just for fun to see what he was up to. It was not until afterward that I had the realization it had become an unhealthy obsession. Personally, it factored into the toxicity of our relationship (when he was mad he would turn off his location and vice versa). It was consuming me.
“Now, with my new partner, we have unanimously decided to not share our locations with each other. It is so much more liberating. I can focus on myself throughout the day. It also gives us the chance to catch up at the end of the day and fill each other in on what we did that day. You should be secure within yourself and your relationship to not rely on any sort of crutch, and I believe sharing your location with your significant other can quickly turn into that.” — Caroline, editorial intern
“Ok, this is an excellent, and tricky question, and comes with a few disclaimers: I tend to think location sharing is not great if you have a rocky relationship. It’s important to consider why you want to share or have your S.O.’s location. Do you want to keep tabs on them because you don’t trust them? Do you tend to experience unhealthy, all-consuming obsession and plan to check it multiple times an hour, every hour, every day? Yikes.
“First of all, you can’t control another person’s desires, morals, or choices. If you don’t trust your partner to be honest about their comings and goings … honestly, dump ’em. And seek some healing, maybe therapy. Therapy is great. It’s for everyone.
“That said, my S.O. shares his location with me because he does a lot of solo wilderness activities (hunting, sea fishing, backpacking, snowboarding, etc.) and he likes me to know where he is should something go wrong (aka I have his loc so that I can deploy the search teams if need be). So far, so good. He’s getting us walkie-talkies soon. This love is tactical, baby.
“He doesn’t have mine, because I generally work from home, have local, community-or-home-based hobbies, and we have a relationship where we can trust each other. He’s slightly allergic to his phone and would never check, so why waste more data? Some close friends have my location for fun, and if I lose my phone, they can help me find it. But he knows I ain’t got the time, patience, or drive to cheat. Boy, I’m in bed. One of you is enough.” — Nicole, Poosh contributor/former managing editor
“My entire family is on Life360. This way we can see where everyone is and keep track of our teens. It even allows us to monitor how fast they are moving in a car. I have nothing to hide, so no problem on my end sharing my location, and, honestly, I’m so grateful because sometimes we forget each other’s whereabouts and can easily check for peace of mind.” — Sam, VP brand partnerships
“I am pro sharing locations. I do it with my family as well as all my closest friends. It’s nice to know where someone is, especially those who live independently when you can’t get a hold of them. I will say, my husband is an Android user -_- so he does not share his location with me. We have a great line of communication with all the work travel he does, but that being said, if anyone knows a good app, let a girl know!” — Meredith, director of ecommerce
“A partner refusing to share location with me would be a red flag, especially once we were in a committed relationship. I like to share my location with close friends, family, and my partner for safety reasons. I like them to share with me for the same reason and so I don’t have to text to check in if I’m wondering when they’ll be home, especially if they’re driving. If someone wouldn’t share their location with me, I would immediately assume they were going places they shouldn’t and that it’s not the right relationship for me. If I didn’t want to share my location with someone because they were overbearing/reactive/overly suspicious, etc., again, not the right relationship.” — Liz, director of business strategy and development for KKB
