The breakup of a marriage or long-term relationship leaves us with a myriad of emotions and plenty of changes in our lives. One of those changes that will happen, sooner for some than others, is sex with someone new. After long-term relationships or marriage, we get used to the way someone kisses, how they know our bodies, and the comfort and familiarity of our partner. When the relationship ends, eventually most of us begin to date, whether to seek out a relationship again or just for fun. We may have gone a decade or longer without having been on a date, let alone had sex with someone new. For those of us starting over with dating, it can mean navigating a whole new territory.
Sex with a new partner can be full of excitement, exploration, intense feelings, and beautiful sensations. This is an exhilarating time in a relationship and can even evolve into a deeper connection with your partner. Despite all these incredible things, many have insecurities about intercourse for the first time with a new person. So what can you do to help with the transition and worries you might have and ultimately partake in great sex with a fresh mate?
Self-confidence is a huge component of dating and sex. When you feel good about yourself and comfortable in your body, it leads to more enjoyable dates and more satisfying sex. If your confidence is lacking, you should focus on the transforming power of self-love. Exercising, prayer/meditation, speaking with friends, and even confiding in a therapist can help you hype yourself up and work through any insecurities you might be having. Exercise is great for increasing libido, and pelvic floor exercises, specifically, can help get you ready for sex. You can experience an increased ability to orgasm (multiple orgasms too!), improved body awareness, a higher sex drive, and the assurance you receive from being strong and powerful on the inside.
If you feel nervous, just remember that’s normal—do your best to relax and embrace the fresh beginnings. To help with this transition, focus on self-care and learning more about what you want, in and out of the bedroom. Take the time to think about what will satisfy you moving forward, both within the relationship and under the sheets. Are you ready to seek out a committed monogamous relationship, or do you want to date for fun for a while?
Sometimes taking time to be single can help you grow and evolve for your next partner and lead to even better conversation, connection, and sex than before. You may want to get right back into it, and that is OK too. Now is the time to honor your feelings and know what is best for you. Whether you’re looking for sex with someone new right after a breakup or later, chemistry and a strong sexual connection await with someone new. Be open to moving on and exploring the possibilities, and it can lead you to a relationship and sex life you only dreamed of.
Courtney Virden is a pelvic floor expert, fitness trainer, and founder of iCORE Method. Her iCORE Method app with core and pelvic floor programs is used by women worldwide to restore pelvic floor health and wellness. This highly sought after programming from iCORE Method helps women heal from pelvic floor dysfunction and also greatly improves sexual satisfaction. She offers monthly subscriptions, challenges, and has new content monthly on the app.
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