You know the song “I’ll Be There for You” by the Rembrandts, written for Friends? Well, that is what friends should be for, right? A small family outside our family, people to lean on and enjoy spending time with.
However, how do you know that they “won’t be there for you” when the going gets tough? According to the Whitehall II study, where more than 10,000 people were followed for over 12 years, there is a very close link between toxic relationships, stress, and health.
So how do you know if you’re in the middle of a toxic BFF situation? Below are some of the main red flags to look out for in your friendship.
They only call you when it rains
Everyone knows a person who likes to call only when the chips are down. The type of friend is easily recognizable. They never reach out to you when things are all fun and games, but like to call you first when they need to let off steam. Oftentimes they just call you for a favor and expect that you will always respond.
You feel exhausted after seeing them
Vampires exist even outside the Twilight saga. They are among us. They breathe our air and drain our positive energy. They are the energy vampires. It’s easy to detect energy vampires by the way you feel after seeing them. They don’t feed on blood but on your energy, and you basically feel exhausted and overwhelmed by the end of your hangout.
They are Gossip Girl in real life
If your friend is keen on gossip, chances are they do the same behind your back too. The biggest mistake you can make is automatically assuming that they won’t gossip about you because you’re friends. The last thing you need is all your secrets circulating around your friend circle, so perhaps it’s time to let go of the one who’s all about the whispers.
They love to talk about themselves
These types of friends are very narcissistic by nature and love the sound of their own voice the most. They only ask you, “How are you?” so they can get it over with and begin talking about their lives. They like to drown in their own endless monologues, and if you dare to speak, they often won’t let you finish the sentence.
They are borderline obsessed with you
Friends showing the tiniest amount of jealousy is a big red flag. They usually require you to be available 100% of the time and get mad if you talk about or, God forbid, decide to meet with other friends. They like to know everything you did when you weren’t together and even go to extremes such as searching through your phone. Sounds like it’s time to distance yourself from this toxic friend.
These are only some of the signs that you’re in an unhealthy friendship. Perhaps the most obvious red flag is if you thought about a specific friend when reading this post. Never forget that true friends are there for you, “when it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.”
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Dalia Hendrix is a self-love and relationship expert, coach, and therapist. She is passionate about encouraging women to build lasting confidence and thrive in their relationships. She specializes in the areas of dating and marriage, inspiring women to heal negative behavior and thinking patterns and move on from toxic relationships. You can follow her on IG @iamdaliasmith.
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