When it comes to first dates, we’re all for keeping an open mind and not immediately writing a potential prospect off because of a personal ick you noticed. That said, there are certain non-negotiables to look out for on date number one that will most likely save your time in the long run. Your time is precious and you should keep it sacred, so if you witness any of these red flags during your meet-up, it might be best to let the date live as a one-and-done situation.
Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but in most cases, if the person does any (or all, eek!) of the below habits during your date, it’s most likely a sign to protect your energy, thank the person for the date, and politely let them know it’s not a fit. You deserve the best, don’t forget that—even if you’re in the thick of a dry streak, don’t let that lower your standards. The right person who treats you like a queen will come along; just trust the process and let the others pass on by.
Until then, read on for 10 red flags to look for on a first date.
If your date is checking their phone …
The polite thing to do is keep your phone off the table. Sure, things come up, and you or your date may need to take a quick glance, but anything more than that is just plain rude.
If your date is talking about their recent ex …
Save the ex(planation) convo for later in your dating progression. If they bring it up, then keep it to a minimum (literally like under a minute). Anything longer than that pretty much proves they’re not over it. If they keep circling every conversation back to their last experience, then that also shows they probably aren’t in the right headspace to enter a new relationship. Friendly reminder: airing your dirty laundry is never a good look for either party.
If your date orders for you (unless you’re into that sort of thing) …
Some people are totally into this. It’s one thing to discuss the menu and options together and then say “you pick” or “I’m fine with whatever”—that scenario raises no red flags. But if your date orders without asking your preference at all … yikes, not a good sign.
If your date has bad manners …
Chewing with their mouth open, unpolite to the staff, obnoxiously loud … you’d be surprised, but the list goes on.
If your date says they forgot their wallet and leaves you to foot the entire bill …
Going Dutch is progressive, but making you pay for all of it? SOS, and proceed to the nearest exit.
If your date talks about their social media following (that goes for you too!) …
It’s weird and so unnecessary. Translates to a clout chaser, period.
If your date name drops …
So this can naturally come up in conversation in a tasteful way (especially if you’re dating in Los Angeles), but if they do it the entire time, it can come off like they are insecure about something and trying to cover up with the whole “I’m connected to XYZ.” Yeah, no thanks.
If your date won’t let you get in a word …
Are they bogarting the entire conversation? Or only asking you to open up and staying mum, like a closed book? What are they hiding? Why are they hogging the convo?
If your date gets wasted on a first date …
Not the vibe (unless it is?). This one is a toss-up—if you’re both on the same page and feel like getting lit together then that’s one thing. But if you’re casually sipping and your date is lapping you on the cocktails, that’s typically not a good look or situation you want to be in. It’s always best to pace yourself on the first date when it comes to the beverages.
If your date is flirting with other patrons while on a date with you …
Gross, but it happens. You know what to do: call yourself a ride home, and block them on the way out.
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