Are you guilty? Disclaimer: it’s OK to fall into this category once or twice, you just don’t want it to be your main personality trait. That’s when it becomes toxic and comes off like you’re putting other women down to make yourself look better. Not sure what the heck we’re talking about? Let us explain and give you some “pick me girl” examples.
If you’re reading this list and think “oh wow, I do this all the time,” you may be a victim of pick me girl syndrome and not even know it. So here’s what it looks like and how to avoid it.
Editor’s note: Although this article uses male and female pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
She makes it known that she doesn’t need to wear makeup.
Cool. To each their own, but a little mascara and foundation never hurt anybody and there’s no need to brag about your perfectly even skin if you don’t “need” makeup.
She talks about how low-maintenance she is.
IDK about you but we’re all for being vocal about a medium-to-high maintenance skincare regimen and there’s nothing wrong with that. Team anti-aging prevention over here!
She says she’s “not like other girls.”
Correct, we’re all unique. There’s no reason to point out (in a condescending way) that you’re different than someone else. Take the high road and say something like, “I love that for her,” and end it there.
She shames other women.
Whether it’s talking about how someone is overdressed or has too much glam, again, she’s insinuating she’s better than others because she’s so “chill.” Not a good look. Lifting and supporting other women is 10 times more attractive, promise.
She brags about being a “guys” girl.
Typically it’s a red flag if someone can’t keep a close group of female friends and only hangs out with males. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with having close guy pals too, but if she’s claiming she doesn’t like having girlfriends there might be a deeper reason.
She has to make it known that she “doesn’t do drama.”
This translates to she’s actually the one who constantly stirs the pot within her friend group. Drama is sometimes unavoidable and the mature way to handle it is to keep it between the parties involved.
Moral of the story: this “pick me girl” trend is toxic and pins women against each other. There’s enough negativity in the world so if you’re guilty of this, take a step back and think about how you can shift the narrative and let women be who they authentically are, and don’t use it as a way to start a convo to try and make yourself look cool or better-than.
You ask, we answer. Send your relationship questions to [email protected], and one of our experts may just answer them in an upcoming column.