Scott: Do I look at you or …?
Kourt: Yeah! Just at me.
Scott: So we don’t have to answer there.
Kourt: No. Unless, do you want to?
Scott: I don’t know.
Kourt: No no no. We are just having a conversation.
Scott: Do I stare at you?
Kourt: You don’t have to stare.
Scott: I know, I’m just asking. I’m not going to not look at you then.\
Kourt: Um … okay. Alright, today we are going to talk about co-parenting.
Scott: Great.
Kourt: It’s a very popular word, I feel like these days.
Scott: What? Co-parenting?
Kourt: Yeah.
Scott: Yeah.
Kourt: And I feel like a lot of people either look at us and say “wow that’s amazing, you know, that you are able to … um …. do this together”. I was talking to my mom today and she was like “I am so proud of you for going to Finland, you know, with Scott and Sofia, and you guys are doing such a great job, I’m so proud of you”.
Scott: Aw that’s nice.
Kourt: But I feel like people with either look at us like we’re crazy, like …
Scott: I’d rather people look at us like we’re crazy and we get to spend time together and raise our family together than doing it the other direction.
Kourt: Yeah I know. I don’t think it’s about what other people think.
Scott: Yeah. No I think other people just think that if they were in that position …
Kourt: They couldn’t do it.
Scott: They couldn’t do it. And I don’t think a lot of people are probably strong enough to do it.
Kourt: Mhmm.
Scott: And it’s not like the easiest thing for us, but the fact that we’ve tried and we made it work, makes life that much better.
Kourt: Mhmm.
Scott: I mean I couldn’t imagine raising 3 children with somebody that I couldn’t speak to everyday.
Kourt: Yeah. I do not get how people do that. That to me seems way harder.
Scott: It’s not harder, it’s just different. And it just sucks because you can’t be on any kind of the same page. Then the kids are just bounced around into completely different things. I mean I know other people who are in relationships that you know were, don’t talk to the person and there’s so many things they are confused about.
Kourt: No I do think we are very lucky to be doing it this way and we can, if we have an issue or something that, you know, one of the kids is going through, we can deal with it together. And, you know, nobody knows our kids better than us so to be able to do that together and like come up with solutions together, I think is, you know, there’s no better … like what else could you want.
Scott: Yeah. I mean I feel like we are just raising our kids how we would’ve raised them, whether we were together or not.
Kourt: Mhmm.
Scott: And just because we are not together, our kids should not suffer.
Kourt: Mhmm.
Scott: And it’s hard. I mean I know if my parents would’ve split, how devastated I would’ve been. You’ve been through it.
Kourt: Mhmm.
Scott: And you know how hard it was.
Kourt: Mhmm.
Scott: And our kids don’t deserve that. Even though … what?
Kourt: (laughs) nothing.
Scott: Ayy.
Kourt: Nothing. Did I give a weird face?
Scott: I mean it’s laughing.
Kourt: I was looking down because I was going to see what was the next question.
Scott: Oh so you were already moving on.
Kourt: (laughs) That’s what a good reporter does. Interviewer.
Scott: Are you considered a reporter?
Kourt: Interviewer.
Scott: Oh you’re very good, I mean not that I have any history in this but from what I can tell you’re really good.
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Kourt: How do we keep our relationship with the kids equal so that we don’t play favorites?
Scott: With each kid?
Kourt: Yeah. I think we’re really good at that.
Scott: Yeah, I mean they are our children. I would never want to tell one of them …
Kourt: Or compare them to each other. We definitely don’t do that.
Scott: Well they’re all so different too.
Kourt: Yeah they’re completely different. But I think, you know, growing up with 5 siblings is, my mom did compare us…
Scott: She still does.
Kourt: And she still does. She did this to me yesterday.
Scott: What she say?
Kourt: She said “you’re not kendall” about something. And I was like “I know, i’m Kourtney, thanks and I’m very happy with who I am”. Um yeah. And I called her today about it.
Scott: Yeah. Wow. I would hate to be compared.
Kourt: And I said the world compares us enough, like we don’t need to be compared by our own mother. And I … and I was thinking about it today that we never do that.
Scott: No that doesn’t really cross my mind.
Kourt: No. So I think it’s just like knowing how to love your k–, not even knowing. I think it’s more of a natural thing, you just love your kids for who they are as individuals.
Scott: Mhmm. Yeah I think it took time to figure out, you know, how to embrace and how to show your kids how much you love them, without overdoing it and spoiling and overindulging, just because you love them, you know what I mean.
Kourt: That we’re good at that?
Scott: Yeah. Even though, I’m saying we’re trying to bring that down.
Kourt: I think that’s something we are working on.
Scott: I think we are just very fortunate and I don’t think we thought we were going to be as fortunate as we are and we’re just still living in the moment, of like we are so lucky we are able to give our kids so much.
Kourt: But I read this quote the other day, and it was like give your kids like don’t buy your kids the things you didn’t have, give them like whether it’s like the love you didn’t get or the knowledge that you now know to be a better person.
Scott: We’re sure doing that.
Kourt: That’s what we need to be giving our kids, instead of things, and it’s not that you can’t give them both, but I do think, you know, giving material things, especially when it’s given so easily, like there’s no real appreciation. Which maybe is a good thing because I don’t really care that much about …
Scott: You don’t.
Kourt: Stuff. It doesn’t roll my world. And if you look at …
Scott: I mean you are living on this street. I mean, it’s tough.
Kourt: Yeah.
————
Scott: Do you want me to interview you?
Kourt: Sure.
Scott: What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced, so far, while co-parenting? And how did you overcome it? How do you recognize and handle these challenges?
Kourt: I think the hardest part was when we both started new relationships, don’t you?
Scott: No, but…
Kourt: Like the hardest part with … because that caused fights between you and I.
Scott: Yeah.
Kourt: About introducing the kids.
Scott: Yeah right. Yeah that’s hard.
Kourt: I think that caused the most challenges.
Scott: Yeah it’s one of those things that you don’t think is going to happen.
Kourt: Right.
Scott: But like everything in the world, you know things move …
Kourt: So I think that was like the time that you and I like had our biggest … like where I was like, we literally had to go to therapy to talk…
Scott: Yeah.
Kourt: To even get through a ….
Scott: Yeah.
Kourt: You know. To be able to communicate together.
Scott: Yeah that was a big one.
Kourt: You?
Scott: The biggest challenge with co-parenting .. yeah, I mean I think the biggest challenge was just trying to figure out how we seperate, you know, our relationship as friends and parents and still be on the same page and what’s I guess like appropriate and what’s not.
Kourt: Mhmm.
Scott: And when to be able to talk to each other. You know, I feel like …
Kourt: Boundaries.
Scott: Yeah. I mean in the beginning, I think you said good ones and then we learned from that and we’ve gotten to a good place, you know what I mean.
Kourt: Mhmm.
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Scott: What parenting methods from your childhood have you found to be most helpful in your adult life? I would just say love and that’s about it. My parents didn’t have a ton.
Kourt: I mean I think for me it was more of … I think there’s a lot. But I think that like the routines like having the bedtime routine and like doing the books and you know? All that stuff.
Scott: You had that?
Kourt: Yeah! Did you?
Scott: No I think my mom.
Kourt: Yeah.
Scott: Like read me a book and stuff. My dad didn’t.
Kourt: My dad did.
Scott: That’s cool.
Kourt: And so I think …
Scott: But again then that might’ve been because they were divorced.
Kourt: No no they did when they were together.
Scott: That’s awesome.
Kourt: Yeah. But I think having that .. um .. just like having that and knowing what to expect at night and I think that …
Scott: What to expect, when your expecting?
Kourt: No. But I think that it helps when you do the same routines in both houses when your co-parenting …
Scott: Yeah.
Kourt: And try to keep the same rules so that you don’t like the kids aren’t like …
Scott: Right.
Kourt: We’re dying to go to dads because we get unlimited video game time or …
Scott: I don’t want anyone to favor. 100%. I only want them to feel like they want to be in either one of our households because of us. Not because of what the other does differently.
Kourt: Yeah. And I think also that is one of the challenging parts is trying to keep the same rules at both houses.
Scott: Yeah forsure.
Kourt: And also trying to … when the rules change like you know …
Scott: I mean the good thing is we do see eachother everyday.
Kourt: Right.
Scott: But I can imagine for other people, that’s a really good piece of advice that we could give.
Kourt: Oh I think one thing (chuckles) thats really interesting is that people say that .. they’ll always ask me, people I’m really close to … they’ll be like “how did you guys like … did you have crazy attorneys and you know like a settlement” just like talking about like figuring out …
Scott: Yeah but that’s just like …
Kourt: The days and the …
Scott: That might not be something we can give to other people though.
Kourt: No but I think … I’m just saying we … I think it’s nice that we didn’t have to involve attorneys, we just did it on our own. We came up with our own schedule of what made the most sense with the kids.
Scott: I think we also knew that if we ever got into something like that, I don’t think you and I would have the relationship that we have.
Kourt: Right. So I am just saying I think that is something helpful for people going through that.
Scott: Yeah but I don’t know if other people …
Kourt: Can handle it.
Scott: Have what we have.
Kourt: Yeah.
Scott: I think, you know, they’re fighting with each other and their not looking to compromise, their not looking to make exceptions or work with each other and the only way they can go is the legal route. You and I were luckily able to do it together.
Kourt: And I think it evolved into the schedule that we have now. And …
Scott: I think we are very very very lucky, how we have it.
Kourt: And another thing is that I think we’re lucky that, you know, if you wanted to have dinner with the kids on a night that they’re here, or you know, like we figure it out. Like it’s not a big deal.
Scott: Yeah its like one of the things.
Kourt: It’s like come and like have dinner. Or anytime that the kids are at your house, I know that I can just go there. See them if I want to.
Scott: Of course.
Kourt: Or have dinner.
Scott: What’s mine is yours and hey listen, I live for the kids so whatever works in what makes in easier for them is what I’m into.
Kourt: Mhmm.
