Skip to main content
TREAT YOURSELF—FREE SHIPPING ON ALL POOSH DOMESTIC ORDERS. SHOP NOW.
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KKB
Poosh
By Kourtney Kardashian Barker
  • instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
  • Shop
  • search
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • Sexual Wellness
  • soul
10 Affirmations That Will Shift Your Energy
10 Affirmations That Will Shift Your Energy
2 Simple Things You Can Do Right Now for Better Brain Health
2 Simple Things You Can Do Right Now for Better Brain Health
All-Natural Remedies to Reduce Bloat
All-Natural Remedies to Reduce Bloat
Can a Friend be Your Soulmate?
Can a Friend be Your Soulmate?
The Poosh-Approved Instacart Snack Haul
The Poosh-Approved Instacart Snack Haul
The Best Coping Tools for Every Mood
The Best Coping Tools for Every Mood
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
The Classic Shoes We’re Wearing With Everything This Summer
The Classic Shoes We’re Wearing With Everything This Summer
The Poosh-Approved Instacart Snack Haul
The Poosh-Approved Instacart Snack Haul
Could Bare Minimum Mondays Help With Burnout?
Could Bare Minimum Mondays Help With Burnout?
The Busy Girl-Approved SPF Duo
The Busy Girl-Approved SPF Duo
How to Cut Back Alcohol in a Realistic Way
How to Cut Back Alcohol in a Realistic Way
All-Natural Secrets For Shiny Hair
All-Natural Secrets For Shiny Hair
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
Strawberry Mango Probiotic Popsicles
Strawberry Mango Probiotic Popsicles
Your New Go-To Summer Roll
Your New Go-To Summer Roll
Pamela Anderson’s Herby French Potato Salad
Pamela Anderson’s Herby French Potato Salad
Lemon Olive Oil Cake with Whipped Honey
Lemon Olive Oil Cake with Whipped Honey
Salmon Sushi Bake
Salmon Sushi Bake
Garlic Parmesan Chicken Caesar Sandwich
Garlic Parmesan Chicken Caesar Sandwich
  • family
  • kourtney
5 (More) Life Lessons From Kourtney
5 (More) Life Lessons From Kourtney
Part One: Life Lessons from Kourtney
Part One: Life Lessons from Kourtney
What Kris Jenner Is Reading Right Now
What Kris Jenner Is Reading Right Now
Kourtney’s Birthday Sale Is Here!
Kourtney’s Birthday Sale Is Here!
What Khloé Kardashian Is Reading Right Now
What Khloé Kardashian Is Reading Right Now
Inspired by Kim Kardashian: 3 Total-Body Gym Moves
Inspired by Kim Kardashian: 3 Total-Body Gym Moves

Menu

  • Shop
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • Sexual Wellness
    • soul
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • KKB
    • family
    • kourtney
  • LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • About
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Relationships

Is an Emotional Affair  REALLY CHEATING?

By Poosh
share on pinterest share on facebook share on twitter Share on Flipboard share by email
 Photo credit Michel Brodsky 1959
Michel Brodsky 1959

Stolen glances, harmless flirting, friendships with the opposite sex … it’s all healthy and totally normal. We aren’t programmed to desire any and all attention from only one singular partner, nor is our partner designed to fulfill our every waking desire. 

But when does a smile, a compliment, or a friendship cross the line into total collateral damage? Is cheating without physicality really cheating? Professor, therapist, sex and relationship expert, and Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Shamyra Howard, lays it all out for us.

“Imagine this. You’ve been going to this same gym for a while, and you meet a gym buddy. You and your gym buddy begin sharing recipes and workout routines. Eventually, you exchange social media handles and begin following each other in the virtual world. You text each other funny memes and eventually begin having more intimate conversations. You look forward to seeing this person at the gym, you look forward to conversing with them when leaving the gym, and all throughout the day. You think about them when you’re with your partner and even find time to communicate with them often. Your partner doesn’t know. But is this really cheating?
 
I remember there was a time that whenever cheating was brought up, it was clear that it was about sexual infidelity. Now, many couples are wanting to get more clear on the difference between a relationship violation, and what is considered cheating.” It can be referred to as an emotional affair, and yes, it can be pretty powerful and, of course, hurtful. 
 
Howard explains that “emotional affairs begin with conversation and opportunity. It’s having an emotional attachment or relationship with someone that causes an interference in the connection with you and your partner. That interference might include more time away from your partner, increased criticism of your partner, secret-keeping, and even lying. Some people are more affected by emotional affairs than they are sexual affairs.” This is because emotional affairs are intense, time-consuming, and a violation of the unspoken contract of the heart, when in a monogamous relationship. 
 
“One way to get clear on determining what constitutes an emotional affair,” Howard suggests, “or any other type of infidelity, is to discuss and agree on your definition of cheating with your partner. You can begin by asking each other this question: how do you define cheating? Be as specific as possible. Discuss boundaries and consequences of cheating. As you probably imagine, emotional relationships are included on many people’s cheating list.”
 
To put it plainly, yes, an emotional affair is indeed cheating. It takes a personal investment in another person—time and energy that would otherwise be spent on and with your partner. In some cases, it may be a sign that the monogamous relationship that is victim to the emotional affair may be on the outs, or perhaps it’s a more intrapersonal issue. 
 
Howard suggests that if you’re involved in an emotional affair or you’re concerned your partner might be, reach out to a professional relationship therapist to help you figure out the best way to approach the situation.

Poosh Edit: Best of Bedroom Essentials

Up next, shop under-$200 items that will give your home an instant refresh.

Related Articles

Goes to article Can a Friend be Your Soulmate?
Relationships

Can a Friend be Your Soulmate?

Goes to article 7 Signs You May Be Emotionally Unavailable
Relationships

7 Signs You May Be Emotionally Unavailable

Goes to article How to Manifest the Relationship You Want
Relationships

How to Manifest the Relationship You Want

Goes to article How to Maintain Friendships as an Adult
Relationships

How to Maintain Friendships as an Adult

Goes to article The Three Loves Theory
Relationships

The Three Loves Theory

Goes to article Burnt Out on Dating Apps? Here’s How to Stay Optimistic
Relationships

Burnt Out on Dating Apps? Here’s How to Stay Optimistic

Goes to article How to Stop Overthinking Your Crush
mind

How to Stop Overthinking Your Crush

Goes to article Do You Choose Your Friendships Like You Would Your Relationship?
Relationships

Do You Choose Your Friendships Like You Would Your Relationship?

  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Reviewed by Allyant for Accessibility
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved