Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. We heard you loud and clear, and we’d like to echo this question … how do we come upon the elusive internal orgasm? You know, the classic, movie star, good ol’ regular penetration and then, boom, ecstasy type of orgasm?
Many of us have never experienced what we deem an “internal” orgasm. For so many women, the bliss button is quite clearly indicated right on top, front, and center. So how do women have orgasms without clitoral stimulation? Or do they at all? The answer is yes, and no. Casey Tanner, therapist, writer, consultant, and Certified Sex Expert, is here to explain.
“While the majority of people with vulvas reach orgasm through external stimulation, it’s by no means the only route to climax. Although the visible part of the clitoris is a small ‘button’ located just above the urethra, it actually extends far deeper into the body (picture a wishbone shape), making it accessible through internal stimulation as well. The part of the vaginal wall that is best known as the ‘G-spot’ is actually just the bundle of nerves that presses up against the internal part of the clitoris.”
So when we think of an “internal” orgasm, we tend to think of this mysterious, ambiguous spot that just suddenly clicks us into place and our eyes roll back in our head, but we aren’t sure how to get there. Turns out, the pleasure center is truly the clitoris, through and through, and that inside part? More clitoris, actually.
Tanner tells us just how to locate it: “If you’re not familiar with this area, practice locating it with your fingers before incorporating toys or partners—don’t hesitate to use lube if your body isn’t already naturally lubricating. With your palm facing up toward you, insert one or two fingers about two to three inches into your vagina. Rather than keeping your fingers completely straight, curve them slightly in a ‘come hither’ motion; this curved finger technique helps ensure that you’re placing pressure on the clitoris internally.
When incorporating toys, go for those with a slight curve. While every body is different, the clitoris typically responds well to consistent, repetitive patterns of stimulation. If this is new for you, put on your favorite sexy playlist and practice moving the toy in and out of your vagina to the beat of the music. Notice which speeds feel most pleasurable.”
Self-exploration is a really beautiful aspect of sexuality. We can really open up to ourselves, get to know ourselves deeper, gain confidence and know-how for partner play, and feel at home in our bodies.
However, “if partnered sex is your preferred genre, all of this practice will help you gear up to communicate your needs,” Tanner tells us. “Whether your partner uses their fingers, penis, and/or strap-on, sex positions in which a person with a vulva has mobility and control will help set you up for success (think: cowgirl). Alternatively, positions in which penetration happens from behind also help stimulate that front part of the vaginal wall.”
The best part? Now we get to practice.
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