Broken hearts scattered everywhere like confetti, tears deep and heavy with questions of self-worth. You find yourself staring at the mirror and you ask yourself, “What did I do to make him do that?” Or even, “What could I have done better?” I want you to know that it is not your fault, and it does not have anything to do with you. Time heals all wounds. Give yourself all the time and space you need to heal, and realize everything will be OK no matter what circumstance comes your way.
Instead of moping around (though certainly allow yourself to be sad for period a of time), find ways to be productive. Though we are all currently experiencing a global pandemic, it’s still very possible to maintain social distance while being productive and embarking on a new journey of self-love and happiness. Making yourself a priority is the number one thing you’ll need to do after a breakup. What are some options, you ask? Here are a few that come to mind.
Editor’s note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
1. Recommit to yourself:
Consider talking to a life coach or therapist. Telehealth is in high demand, and professional help is available at your fingertips. By the time it’s safe to get back into the dating world, you will be able to bring your best self with the new tools and awareness you gained while self-isolating.
2. Revamp your wardrobe:
While some women might make a drastic move and chop their hair off (and end up regretting it), take a look inside your closet. Chances are it’s filled with finds you’ve forgotten about. Whatever your style and whatever basics you choose, a few accents can take your wardrobe from stale to spicy. Make sure to stay safe and add some stylish face masks to complement your updated wardrobe.
3. Enroll in a course:
Follow your passions and do things that will add value and bliss to your life (and your resume).
4. Start that business you always dreamed of:
Are you truly happy at your current job or are you just settling for what you have? Changes are occurring all around you that can make your skills and competencies obsolete. There’s no better time than the present to follow your dreams and turn your business into a reality.
5. Reconnect with yourself:
Replenishing your inner energy is critical to maintaining your sense of self. Without time for reflection, you’re a hamster on a wheel, going nowhere. You never evolve. Once you reset your inner compass, you will be able to reemerge in the right direction.
6. Start journaling:
If writing is your jam, start a gratitude journal. Although it might be hard to think that everything will work out for the better while you’re in the messy stages of a breakup, you have to have faith that everything will sort itself out. You have to keep positive and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, although it might look dim at the moment.
7. Do a purge:
Examine your friendships. How did they begin, and how have they changed—when, where, what, how much, why? Does this relationship help you grow as a person? Create a no-negativity zone by setting boundaries and simply saying no to things that aren’t making you happy or serving you. And make sure that you say no if your ex tries to pull you back into another dysfunctional relationship.
8. Health and fitness:
What better motivation to get in the best shape of your life? Setting health goals pushes us not to let ourselves go, but to stay healthy for as long as possible. It can even be a lifesaver—but only if it leads to positive behavior. Studies also show that if you’re physically active and fit, your mood will improve, and if your mood improves, you’ll not only have more energy and be more productive, but your happiness will spill over in every area of your life.
9. Try out a new restaurant:
You know that place you’ve been dying to try? Treat your damn self and order takeout this weekend.
Don’t let what happened during the breakup prevent you from moving forward. You are still in process, and you still have the opportunity to live the life of your desire. Sadly, there isn’t such thing as a “quick fix,” and you may never feel as if you have “recovered,” but it does get better, I promise. You are accountable for making yourself happy. Take time to find out who you are at this point in your life. You’re a totally new person with new insight, and you’ll have to get to know who that person is. Spend time with yourself to discover new things that you’ve never noticed before. Go out and meet new people (socially distanced of course), take up new hobbies, and embrace your newly single status. Live it up and be free. You owe it to yourself!
Good luck, and may love and peace always guide you. I’ll be rooting for you every step of the way.
Dalia Hendrix is a self-love and relationship expert, coach, and therapist. She is passionate about encouraging women to build lasting confidence and thrive in their relationships. She specializes in the areas of dating and marriage, inspiring women to heal negative behavior and thinking patterns and move on from toxic relationships. You can follow her on IG @iamdaliasmith.
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