We all have different types of rock bottoms, and no two people’s are the same. It’s pushing past the limit of what’s tolerable for you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It’s bumping up against the threshold of patience, stamina, tolerance, or the reservoir within for more of what’s in front of you. It can happen around a relationship, a habit, a pattern that keeps repeating, or a paradigm in your life. And it often tends to be painful because you haven’t been paying attention to the flags on the field—the signs pointing out along the way that you’re not in alignment. But you kept soldiering on, either out of duty/ loyalty, compulsively, or even due to curiosity, despite your intuition. Rock bottom gets our attention to cease and desist, moving us out of self-will into a state of surrender and a begrudged willingness to admit defeat.
It’s part of the journey of life to set our sights on things that start out one way and look promising initially but then change somewhere along the line for various reasons. We hang on, even though it’s outside of our preference or value system. Most of us don’t like change, even if we’re uncomfortable, so it continues. And as the bottoms drop, we tolerate more dissonance within us and around us. Then comes the blessing that is a rock bottom. It’s doing for us what we could not do for ourselves—when it’s glaringly obvious we cannot persist in the way things are unfolding.
But it can absolutely be a baseline for reinvention. For building a new reality, making space for something else to come in, be it a relationship, circumstance, or way of coping. And as painful as it is to experience that contraction, we can edge in some hope knowing something good is coming—something better. If we allow ourselves to be with the feelings all of this is bringing up, sitting with the life lessons and taking the available learnings, that rock bottom passes quicker. It’s all about presence around it. It can be that golden opportunity to reimagine a new way by crashing and burning the old. You might even look back and be grateful for all that rock bottom delivered you, by re-routing your course for the best.
Steps to handle your rock bottom:
• Notice you’ve hit it, and feel all the feelings it’s bringing up
• Trust that you are ready for this shift
• Compassion and self-love in abundance
• Remember this is what life is all about and you’re OK
• Write about all the signs you ignored along the way
• Take those learnings and integrate them
• Decide what you want next that’s a new experience
• Release and bless all that you’re letting go of
• Keep reminding yourself that you’re responsible for your life
• Feel hope knowing good things are on their way to you
In time, you might be more conscious of the red flags as they pop up in the moment, so the pain of a bottom is less necessary to propel you into shifting what you’re in relation to. You might become more attuned to when you’re feeling out of alignment. You could take an inventory of what’s unfolding, adjusting accordingly so that you don’t have to suffer through another eventual bottom. Pain does not have to be a touchstone for change. Crash and burn doesn’t always have to be the only way to create, manifest, and grow in all sectors of your life. It’s sometimes inevitable, but mostly optional.