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Relationships

How to Maintain Friendships as an Adult

By Dr. Krystal Conner
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 Photo credit @kyliejenner
@kyliejenner

With age and maturity comes the seemingly never-ending juggling act of career, family, and just trying to survive on a daily basis.

Having a tight-knit group of friends to experience life with as an adult is a critical part of finding balance and fulfillment. But how exactly do you maintain these important connections when obligations, distance, and adulting duties monopolize all of your time?

The carefree days of passing your bestie in the hallway on the way to class or planning your outfits for a Saturday all-nighter are long gone. They are now replaced with grown-up worries and responsibilities.

Although keeping your friendships can be challenging, it isn’t impossible with commitment, thought, and intention. You may not be able to have daily conversations, but it is important to prioritize communicating regularly.

Here are some ways to make it work:

  • Routinely schedule times and days where you catch up. This lets the other person know that you’re thinking of them and that you’re still a consistent part of their life. Something as simple as sending texts, emails, or funny social media posts helps keep you bonded.
  • Take the time to plan an in-person get-together. Planning out the details of your time together will give you extra reasons to stay in contact and something to look forward to.
  • Consider the quality of time you spend together more than the quantity. Although you may not be able to speak or see each other daily, make it a point to dedicate the time you do have together to having great conversations and creating new memories together.
  • Be honest in your communication. Don’t allow unspoken misunderstandings to stain the relationship. Work together to create a safe space where you can have difficult conversations openly and honestly that don’t negatively impact the dynamics of the relationship.
  • Give grace, have patience, and be willing to adjust your role. As you shift through life stages, be mindful of what is going on in each other’s lives. Your bestie with a newborn might not be available to have an hour-long gossip session for a while, but she would definitely appreciate you calling to check in on her or planning time for her to take a much-needed break. Be willing to modify the timing and frequency of communication without it altering your commitment to the friendship.
  • Reciprocate the efforts. Nobody likes a one-sided friendship. Remember that everyone has responsibilities, and don’t allow one person to be the only one working to maintain the connection.
  • Celebrate the milestones, remember the small things, and be available for the hard times. Make it a point to be present in some way for it all.  The best friendships are those that stand the test of time and the ups and downs of life.

Maintaining friendships as an adult can be hard, but when you both make it a priority to be present and experience life together, your friendship will grow stronger despite the time and distance between you.

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