Few things are more painful than the feeling that someone who is supposed to be your most trusted companion is lying to you. When that feeling arises, we often give up all our power and reason in an effort to learn the truth.
The most surprising truth of all, however, may be this one: that the person whose lies you most believe is you!
You “don’t see what you don’t see” only when you don’t want to see it—or else when you don’t recognize it for what it is. Even if your conscious self seems to yearn for all the information, your subconscious fears the grief that knowing might bring. That is why you repress most of your intuition most of the time: because your subconscious is telling you that you are powerless to survive learning the truth.
Fortunately, there is a way around this. The good news is that using certain intuitive techniques will put you in a position of strength, no matter what you find out.
The first step to clearing this obstacle is to create support for how you will carry on if you find out the worst. This is simpler than it sounds. Just pose the question, “If this thing I dread is true, how will I move forward safely?” Then give yourself some time to allow intuition to present you with some options, the positive things that you will do if what you fear turns out to be true. This gives your subconscious reassurance that you will survive the answer!
These new options may surprise you. You may become aware of people and practices that allow you not to be reactive—ones you hadn’t thought of before. You may become aware of a crush that you didn’t know you had because your current relationship was taking up all of your attention, perhaps in a paranoid way. You may rediscover the qualities in yourself that once put you in control but have been eroded over time. Sometimes it is this erosion, and not betrayal, that you are experiencing.
After you have prepared in this way for a few days, it’s time to use intuition to get to the truth.
1. Write your question down. Once the question is separated from the narrative of your messy mind, intuition will naturally illuminate the information you need to answer it.
2. Stop “looking” for the answer. Your looking limits what you “see,” because you are always searching in the same places in the same way with the same expectations. See #1.
3. Notice what information and intuitions you encounter. Follow any leads that may arise. (Oh, a mutual friend you have been out of touch with pops up on an old text! Say hello—and then see what happens.)
4. Before sleep, write down the question, and then notice what or whom you awaken thinking of. When you are asleep, your “protections” are down, and you are more likely to experience what you are really picking up on.
5. Keep notes and review them regularly. Don’t over-interpret your “data.” Whatever the information turns out to be, it will reveal itself clearly when you are ready to see it.
What is most profound about this process is that, at the same time that you are freeing intuition to lead you to the right information, you are also working through your own resistance and old patterns in the process.
Whatever truth you encounter, having a more able and informed you will put you in a position to move forward into your best life.
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