Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, then we do our research and craft a story to answer as many questions as we can. The topic of our latest submission: multiple orgasms. As in, are they a thing and if so, how can we have them?
We tapped global sexologist and mentor Juliet Allen to spell things out for us:
I get these questions all the time! The answer is YES, multiple orgasms are real, and I truly believe everyone can experience them with a little practice. So, where to begin?
The first step is to let go of orgasm expectations, which sounds counterintuitive if you’re wanting heaps of them, right? The reason this is important is that if we place tons of pressure on ourselves to have heaps of orgasms (or even have one orgasm), we can often overthink it and all our energy stays up in our thinking brain rather than down in our sex center. So let go of having to achieve multiple O’s and instead focus on the tips below.
1. Reframe your idea of orgasm.
Orgasm doesn’t have to be a big bang; it can be a subtle trickle of energy that runs throughout your body, beginning well before you actually engage in sex (with yourself or someone else). In fact, orgasmic energy is always present in our body … it’s that energy you feel when you’re horny that starts like a buzzing in your genitals. When we notice that energy and acknowledge it as orgasmic, we can begin to work with the energy more and learn to move it throughout our body, which can lead to multiple full-body orgasms!
2. Learn about and practice edging.
Edging is an amazing technique that is simple to practice and can have a huge impact on the way we experience orgasm. In a nutshell, we can learn to edge our way to orgasm, then slow down the process midway through. This technique, when practiced regularly, is what can lead to full body orgasmic waves time and time again.
It may sound simple, but lots of us tend to hold our breath and tense up when we want to experience orgasm, and this is the worst thing we can do. Let go, breathe, relax. Use your breath to visualize your orgasmic energy moving up your genitals and throughout your entire body. When we use our breath during sex, we have the ability to experience orgasm time and time again in one sex session.
4. Practice when self-pleasuring (aka masturbation).
This is the ideal time to practice edging and master the art of multiple orgasm!
5. Lay off heavy clit stimulation if you have a vulva.
I know some people will cringe at this idea, and I promise it’s not forever! Just for the next few weeks, take your focus off your clit and onto the rest of your body. When we focus on our clit and only experience clitoral orgasms, we take away from the potential of multiple full-body orgasms.
Up next, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Poosh newsletter.