If you’re currently in this situation or have been in the past, you know how much it hurts. You’re not only recovering from a broken heart but also the mental damage your former partner left you with. The harsh truth is that this type of breakup takes a lot of self-work, digging deep inside to find closure on your own to shut this chapter of your dating life.
We get it, you’re still in love with this person so most likely you let several red flags slide. You were blinded by love and made excuses that aren’t in line with your better judgment. But don’t be too hard on yourself, because we’ve all been there. The good news is that with the right advice and mindset, you will come out on the other side, and hopefully, sooner rather than later you’ll see exactly why it wasn’t meant to be and that you deserve so much more.
To guide us with some professional insight we tapped Michelle Afont, relationship expert, divorce lawyer, and multi-published author whose most recent work is The Dang Factor, to share how to get over someone who treated you poorly but you’re still madly in love with.
Editor’s note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
“It’s key to understand that being ‘madly in love’ involves two people. When someone treats you poorly, it is likely they do not share the same level of love that you do. When your partner treats you poorly, your relationship lacks mutual respect. Your partner will do and get away with what you allow him to. More importantly, if you are lacking the self-esteem necessary to set boundaries and know your worth, then it is important to surround yourself with positive people and become aware of just how awesome you are and what you bring to your relationship.
“It’s very important when getting over a lost love that you seek out healthy and new distractions. Learn a new sport. Reconnect with girlfriends. Embrace fitness. Take up a new hobby. You’ll be surprised by who you may meet along the way. Elevating your self-esteem with new interests will also be beneficial to moving on. At our low points, we settle for that low partner, and consider him as our equal, when in fact, he is not. And remember, no one takes advantage of you or treats you poorly without your permission. You’ve got this!”
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