How do you find closure when the other person has cut you out of their life? Ugh, this is a hard one to swallow because it truly hurts so deep. I know from personal experience—if you read my essay on how I turned a shitty ending into a positive, then you already know it’s doable. Not going to lie, it takes a lot of self-work and finding ways to cope for yourself.
When a relationship ends, no matter if it’s a romantic or platonic friendship, it shakes you. In some ways, it can feel like a death, where you’re searching for ways to mourn and move on. This is especially true when the other person in the situation has decided to stop all further conversation, leaving you on the other side of things to clean up the mental damage on your own. You feel deserted, alone, heartbroken, and reaching for answers to figure how TF you’re going to mend things again on your own.
OK, enough of how much the situation sucks and more about how to move forward and grow from it.
First things first, allow yourself a decent amount of cry sessions. The ugly cry ones, because nothing feels better than letting out a solid rainfall of tears. Get it out, because they will come eventually.
The next one is probably the hardest, but once you internalize it, it’ll be so much easier to move forward. Come to terms with the fact that you’re not going to get the closure you hope for. No more saying, “Well, maybe XX person will come around and want to talk and at least end on good terms.” Nope. Not going to happen. And that’s OK; you’re strong enough to heal on your own. I can’t stress this step enough—know that you’re not going to get the closure talk you may have envisioned in your mind. Harsh, I know, but once you’re OK with this, things get so much better.
Don’t let this situation or breakup define who you are. Let it be part of your past, not “future” you.
Speaking of future you, use the power of future journaling and write down how you plan to feel in six months as if it’s already true. For example, “I’m content and happy with my life and OK with how things ended, and my life is better than it was before.”
Try to keep a positive attitude, because honestly, what’s your other choice … to be miserable? Well, that sounds miserable. Just remember, fuming feelings do pass and seasons come and go. (Ya, throw that quote on a Home Goods painting, please. LOL.)
How have you found closure on your own? Share your story with us in our private Facebook group.
