Dorothy Dandridge with Harry Belafonte In Carmen Jones, 1954
Swiping can be entertaining and all, but in my experience, dating apps tend to be time-consuming and typically fizzle after a few rounds of chatting (maybe I’m bad at checking them or maybe it just solidifies that I’m not super interested in swiping for a suitor). I’m not against it, it’s just not a priority for me. I’m on my phone enough for work, family text threads, etc., so the last thing I want to do at the end of the day is comb through profiles and have surface-level conversations. So how does a single woman in Los Angeles find a s/o IRL? Well, I’m still working on it, but here’s what I’ve found helpful when it comes to dating offline. (Like I said, I’m currently single, so take it with a grain of salt as I’m no expert, simply sharing how I’ve sparked dates while avoiding the world of apps.)
Editor’s note: Although this article uses male pronouns, the advice applies to all sexual orientations and gender identities.
– Say yes to opportunities even if you’re not thrilled about going. I’m the queen of calling it a night early or staying in if a location is “too far,” but every time I push myself to say yes, I end up having a great time and eye a few cuties. The last time I went out (when I really wanted to stay home in my robe), I ended up meeting three nice guys who asked me out on a date the following week. Not saying this happens every time, but no swiping required to set up a couple of first dates.
– Get out of your house more. Easier said than done sometimes, but the more you leave your house, the more of a chance you have of meeting someone. Consider even small things like cutting back on Postmates and instead going to pick up your food yourself. You never know where or when you could meet someone.
– When you are out, sit at the bar. Whether you dine solo or with another single friend, posting up at the bar is the easiest way to strike up a conversation and for people to come up and potentially chat with you.
– Become a regular at your favorite neighborhood spots. I have a handful of places around my apartment that I go to enough that now the staff and owner recognize me and have introduced me to their friends. It’s a great way to meet new people and network even if you don’t find a boyfriend out of it.
-The friend-of-a-friend setup. I’ve had dating luck with guy and girlfriends setting me up, whether it’s with one of their coworkers or their friends. Take advantage of your peers being willing to intro you to someone new. I was once texting with an old flame who had recently started dating someone but he kindly gave my number to his single friend.
The obvious (which I won’t go into detail about, but they are worth mentioning):
– Gym (ballsy but some women/men might be into it)
– Spiritual place of worship
– Grocery store
– Join a college alumni group club
Moral of the story? If you want to find someone offline, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and put in the effort.
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