Hello again, dear friend Anonymous. Welcome back to our sex talk column where readers submit questions, then we do our research and craft a story to answer as many questions as we can. We tapped Dr. Kate Balestrieri—licensed psychologist, certified sex and PACT couples therapist, and founder of Modern Intimacy in Los Angeles, California—to provide her (s)expert knowledge on steamy topics (like how to teach yourself to squirt, everything you need to know about edging and rocking, if nipple orgasms are real, ways to increase your libido, sex stage fright, enjoying outercourse, and more). Today she’s taking the mic in our Ask Us Anything: The Sex Edition, to answer the latest submission. The topic? Your A-spot.
“The A-spot is a lesser-known spot on the anterior wall of the vaginal, about 4-6 inches in, about 1 to 2 inches above the G-spot. Everyone’s body is different, so it may take a little while to find, but once you do, it will likely feel amazing and result in extra lubrication and even a higher chance of an internal orgasm.
There are a few different ways to get A-spot acquainted.
1. Insert a finger into your vagina, with the soft side facing your belly. If you locate the G-spot, reach a few inches deeper, and move your finger in a side-to-side motion, caressing the front wall of the vagina. The index finger generally offers the most dexterity. While in-and-out penetration may work well for G-spot stimulation, the A-spot generally becomes more aroused with more continuous stroking movements.
2. If your finger is not long enough, or you like a different kind of sensation, you can also reach for a sex toy. You might try a dildo or vibrator that is longer in length so you can maneuver it to explore the area just beyond your G-spot. Instead of pushing the toy in and out of the vagina, you might keep the toy inside you, and sweep it side to side or even in a circular motion, pressing against the vaginal wall for more continuous stimulation.
3. Another not-so-obvious way to stimulate the A-spot is through anal penetration. Since the anus is so close to the vaginal wall, sometimes the G- or A-spot can be stimulated indirectly.
4. For extra intensity, you might put some light pressure on the outside of your belly to push down the wall of the vagina against the finger, penis, or sex toy inside. Playing with different levels of pressure can offer different sensations and more pleasure.
5. Move your hips! Putting a pillow or sex cushion under your hips during missionary position can help to elevate the angle of penetration and give you and/or your partner better access to the A-spot. If it’s accessible, you might try bringing your knees up to your chest, which can open a more direct route to the A-spot internally and add a little pressure from your belly being pushed down.
6. Conversely, if you are being penetrated from behind (doggy style), shift your hips up and back to create a more direct path to the A-spot. If you want more support, you can lean over some pillows, a bolster, or cushions for a more relaxed entry, and doing so can add some pressure on your belly, increasing A-spot stimulation even more.”
Dr. Kate Balestrieri is a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, certified sex addiction therapist, PACT therapist, and founder of Modern Intimacy, a group practice in Los Angeles, Miami, and Chicago. Listen to her podcast, Modern Intimacy, and follow her on IG @drkatebalestrieri.
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