Skip to main content
Close Close

Congratulations
You're on the list.

Make sure to check your spam folder so that our emails are always delivered into your inbox.
xo, Kourt
Give your inbox
and your life

the Poosh it needs.
By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
Free Shipping on All Domestic Orders.
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KKB
Poosh
  • instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
  • Shop
  • search
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • Sexual Wellness
  • soul
Did You Know…Boredom is Good for You?
Did You Know…Boredom is Good for You?
Vagina Skincare—It’s a Thing, and I Tried It
Vagina Skincare—It’s a Thing, and I Tried It
How Can I Exhaust My Brain So I Stop Obsessing?
How Can I Exhaust My Brain So I Stop Obsessing?
Does Weed Make You Horny? The Poosh Team Weighs In
Does Weed Make You Horny? The Poosh Team Weighs In
A Week of Snackable Workouts
A Week of Snackable Workouts
What’s In My Control vs. Out of My Control
What’s In My Control vs. Out of My Control
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
Should I Wax My Own Butthole?
Should I Wax My Own Butthole?
Under-$50 Date Ideas
Under-$50 Date Ideas
How to Prevent and Minimize Pesky Chest Wrinkles
How to Prevent and Minimize Pesky Chest Wrinkles
How to Catch Lucky Girl Syndrome
How to Catch Lucky Girl Syndrome
Derma Rolling vs. Derma Stamping
Derma Rolling vs. Derma Stamping
Hacks to Stop Procrastinating 
Hacks to Stop Procrastinating 
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
Easy Meals I Make When I’m Feeling SAD
Easy Meals I Make When I’m Feeling SAD
Surya Spa’s Ayurvedic Mung Bean Pancakes With Stewed Fruit
Surya Spa’s Ayurvedic Mung Bean Pancakes With Stewed Fruit
Charcoal Latte Recipe Inspired by Kim Kardashian
Charcoal Latte Recipe Inspired by Kim Kardashian
Comfy-Cozy Vegan Pesto Whirls
Comfy-Cozy Vegan Pesto Whirls
New Year, New (Anti-Aging) Matcha Latte Recipe
New Year, New (Anti-Aging) Matcha Latte Recipe
Kourtney’s Hormone-Balancing Organic Blueberry Smoothie Recipe
Kourtney’s Hormone-Balancing Organic Blueberry Smoothie Recipe
  • family
  • kourtney
Inside the 2022 Kardashian Jenner Christmas Eve Party
Inside the 2022 Kardashian Jenner Christmas Eve Party
Behind Closed Doors: The Kardashian/Jenners’ 2022 Gift Wrapping  
Behind Closed Doors: The Kardashian/Jenners’ 2022 Gift Wrapping  
A Peek at all of Kourt’s Favorite Nostalgic Christmas Decor
A Peek at all of Kourt’s Favorite Nostalgic Christmas Decor
The Makeup Tips Kourt Learned from Kylie
The Makeup Tips Kourt Learned from Kylie
The Under-$25 Kettle Kendall Makes her Apple tea in
The Under-$25 Kettle Kendall Makes her Apple tea in
The 2022 Kardashian and Jenner Holiday Gift Guide
The 2022 Kardashian and Jenner Holiday Gift Guide
What are you looking for?

Menu

  • Shop
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • Sexual Wellness
    • soul
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • KKB
    • family
    • kourtney
  • LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Relationships

How to Change  YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE

By Poosh
share on pinterest share on facebook share on twitter Share on Flipboard share by email
 Photo credit Tony Frank
Tony Frank

ICYMI, we’ve discussed attachment styles here at Poosh before. Our hope is that it’s helped some put a name to certain issues within ourselves, or recognize those modes in friends and lovers to better understand and navigate relationships. But just because we can put a name to our patterns doesn’t mean they’re set in stone forevermore. It’s important to be ever-evolving. Constant self-improvement is the name of the game in life and love.

Yasmine Cheyenne is a writer, teacher, and advocate for mental health, known for her transformative teachings around self-healing. She gave us the low-down on some common attachment styles and how to break ourselves free from these often destructive patterns.

Avoidant attachment

“People who have avoidant attachment steer clear of being in relationships out of fear of disappointment because there’s a belief that people can’t be trusted. With this attachment style, you’re more likely to avoid getting too close to people and may also consider yourself as someone who doesn’t ‘need people.’

Ways to shift this mindset:

It’s helpful to explore your fears around trusting people by asking yourself questions like: ‘What am I afraid will happen if I let people in? Was there a situation where I let someone in and I was let down? How can I begin working through this now?’ Although tough, disappointment is a normal part of relationships, because no one will be able to meet all of your needs in the way you desire them to be met. Communicate how you feel in your relationships by saying that you’re afraid to get hurt if you’re vulnerable. It’s scary to let people in, but remind yourself that you are capable of creating relationships that are built on trust.”

Anxious attachment

“Avoidants primarily have fears around trusting others, so they avoid relationships. People who have anxious attachment may be more likely to feel insecure in their relationships, especially when people decide to do things without them [aka do their own thing, hang out with friends without them, etc.].

Ways to shift this mindset:

First, remind yourself that just because people are choosing to do things without you, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you—even though it feels that way and it may feel very real. Then, ask yourself what you need to feel loved and safe in your relationships. Would you like to know ahead of time when events will take place without you? Would you like to have a conversation with friends to help them understand how the lack of invitation makes you feel? The internal conversation is an important step because it’ll help you communicate your needs and feelings with others. Be compassionate with yourself when these feelings come up and know that talking these feelings through may be uncomfortable, but it helps to clear the air and move forward.”

Secure attachment:

“People who have secure attachment don’t often feel threatened by their friends doing things with other people. With this attachment style, you’re more likely to feel confident and secure with where you stand in your relationships. 

Ways to shift this mindset:

This is actually a healthy way of being in relationships, but it doesn’t mean you’re completely out of the woods! Even though your way of relating to others may be healthier, the people you’re in relationships with may have a different attachment style than you. Understanding the attachment styles of others will help you support their needs and perhaps any needs you may have that you’re unaware of as well.”

Poosh Edit: Popular Items:

Up next, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Poosh newsletter.

You may also like...

Go to article 7 Signs You May Be Emotionally Unavailable
Relationships

7 Signs You May Be Emotionally Unavailable

Go to article How to Have an Exorcism-Level Orgasm
Relationships

How to Have an Exorcism-Level Orgasm

Related Articles

Goes to article What’s Your Support Style? 
Relationships

What’s Your Support Style? 

Goes to article Help! Can Shower Sex Actually Be Good?
Relationships

Help! Can Shower Sex Actually Be Good?

Goes to article Under-$50 Date Ideas
Relationships

Under-$50 Date Ideas

Goes to article The Sex Was Really Bad…What Now?
Relationships

The Sex Was Really Bad…What Now?

Goes to article Do You Have Dating Anxiety?
Relationships

Do You Have Dating Anxiety?

Goes to article 7 Signs You May Be Emotionally Unavailable
Relationships

7 Signs You May Be Emotionally Unavailable

Goes to article The Dos and Don’ts of Dating
Relationships

The Dos and Don’ts of Dating

Goes to article What’s up With the Expectation That Women Should be in Relationships?
Relationships

What’s up With the Expectation That Women Should be in Relationships?

  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube join newsletter
Reviewed by Allyant for Accessibility
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved