Close Close

Congratulations
You're on the list.

Make sure to check your spam folder so that our emails are always delivered into your inbox.
xo, Kourt
Give your inbox
and your life

the Poosh it needs.
By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
FREE SHIPPING ON ALL ORDERS
  • HEALTH + WELLNESS
  • LIFE + STYLE
  • HOME + ENTERTAINING
  • KMK
Poosh
  • Poosh Your Wellness
  • Newsletter
  • Keep in touch
    instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube
  • search
  • Shop
  • search
  • body
  • diy
  • fitness
  • Giving Back
  • health
  • mind
  • Relationships
  • soul
10 Simple Ways to Fall in Love with Yourself
10 Simple Ways to Fall in Love with Yourself
Do We Get Worse BO As We Age? An Investigation
Do We Get Worse BO As We Age? An Investigation
Does Commitment Make You Nervous?
Does Commitment Make You Nervous?
Can You Actually Teach Yourself to Squirt?
Can You Actually Teach Yourself to Squirt?
Kourt’s Tongue Therapy Routine
Kourt’s Tongue Therapy Routine
Morning vs. Night Stretching: What to Do and When 
Morning vs. Night Stretching: What to Do and When 
  • Adulting
  • beauty
  • guides
  • Hacks
  • style
  • travel
Under $100: Poosh-Approved Products
Under $100: Poosh-Approved Products
Wellness Wednesday with Deepica Mutyala
Wellness Wednesday with Deepica Mutyala
Poosh Shop March Drop Is Here
Poosh Shop March Drop Is Here
The Foundation Plate That Changed Kourt’s Makeup Game
The Foundation Plate That Changed Kourt’s Makeup Game
Apps to Streamline Your Life 
Apps to Streamline Your Life 
The Minimalist (and Clean) Body Care Brand to Add to Your Rotation
The Minimalist (and Clean) Body Care Brand to Add to Your Rotation
  • decor
  • entertaining
  • kids
  • motherhood
  • Playlists
  • recipes
Gluten-Free Morning Matcha Cake
Gluten-Free Morning Matcha Cake
Kim’s Plant-Based Eggplant Parmesan Recipe
Kim’s Plant-Based Eggplant Parmesan Recipe
Essentials for an At-Home Pizza Night
Essentials for an At-Home Pizza Night
Kourt’s New Lunch Menu
Kourt’s New Lunch Menu
How I Decluttered My Closet to Downsize
How I Decluttered My Closet to Downsize
2 Ways to Do Vegan Tuna Lettuce Wraps
2 Ways to Do Vegan Tuna Lettuce Wraps
  • family
  • kourtney
The Makeup Tips Kourt Recently Learned from Kylie
The Makeup Tips Kourt Recently Learned from Kylie
Ways Kourt Has Made the Most of Her Time at Home
Ways Kourt Has Made the Most of Her Time at Home
*Exclusive* Sneak Peek at the Kardashian/Jenners’ Gift Wrapping
*Exclusive* Sneak Peek at the Kardashian/Jenners’ Gift Wrapping
The Devotional Book Kourt Reads Every Morning
The Devotional Book Kourt Reads Every Morning
Kourt’s Makeup Artist on How to Apply the Perfect Lashes
Kourt’s Makeup Artist on How to Apply the Perfect Lashes
Kourt’s Cute $7 Reusable Daily Vitamin Bags
Kourt’s Cute $7 Reusable Daily Vitamin Bags
What are you looking for?

Search in:

  • Shop
  • Open/Close Button HEALTH + WELLNESS
    • body
    • diy
    • fitness
    • Giving Back
    • health
    • mind
    • Relationships
    • soul
  • Open/Close Button HOME + ENTERTAINING
    • decor
    • entertaining
    • kids
    • motherhood
    • Playlists
    • recipes
  • Open/Close Button KMK
    • family
    • kourtney
  • Open/Close Button LIFE + STYLE
    • Adulting
    • beauty
    • guides
    • Hacks
    • style
    • travel
  • Poosh Your Wellness
  • Newsletter
instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube
Relationships

How to Change  YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE

By Poosh
pinterest facebook twitter email
Tony Frank

ICYMI, we’ve discussed attachment styles here at Poosh before. Our hope is that it’s helped some put a name to certain issues within ourselves, or recognize those modes in friends and lovers to better understand and navigate relationships. But just because we can put a name to our patterns doesn’t mean they’re set in stone forevermore. It’s important to be ever-evolving. Constant self-improvement is the name of the game in life and love.

Yasmine Cheyenne is a writer, teacher, and advocate for mental health, known for her transformative teachings around self-healing. She gave us the low-down on some common attachment styles and how to break ourselves free from these often destructive patterns.

Avoidant attachment

“People who have avoidant attachment steer clear of being in relationships out of fear of disappointment because there’s a belief that people can’t be trusted. With this attachment style, you’re more likely to avoid getting too close to people and may also consider yourself as someone who doesn’t ‘need people.’

Ways to shift this mindset:

It’s helpful to explore your fears around trusting people by asking yourself questions like: ‘What am I afraid will happen if I let people in? Was there a situation where I let someone in and I was let down? How can I begin working through this now?’ Although tough, disappointment is a normal part of relationships, because no one will be able to meet all of your needs in the way you desire them to be met. Communicate how you feel in your relationships by saying that you’re afraid to get hurt if you’re vulnerable. It’s scary to let people in, but remind yourself that you are capable of creating relationships that are built on trust.”

Anxious attachment

“Avoidants primarily have fears around trusting others, so they avoid relationships. People who have anxious attachment may be more likely to feel insecure in their relationships, especially when people decide to do things without them [aka do their own thing, hang out with friends without them, etc.].

Ways to shift this mindset:

First, remind yourself that just because people are choosing to do things without you, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you—even though it feels that way and it may feel very real. Then, ask yourself what you need to feel loved and safe in your relationships. Would you like to know ahead of time when events will take place without you? Would you like to have a conversation with friends to help them understand how the lack of invitation makes you feel? The internal conversation is an important step because it’ll help you communicate your needs and feelings with others. Be compassionate with yourself when these feelings come up and know that talking these feelings through may be uncomfortable, but it helps to clear the air and move forward.”

Secure attachment:

“People who have secure attachment don’t often feel threatened by their friends doing things with other people. With this attachment style, you’re more likely to feel confident and secure with where you stand in your relationships. 

Ways to shift this mindset:

This is actually a healthy way of being in relationships, but it doesn’t mean you’re completely out of the woods! Even though your way of relating to others may be healthier, the people you’re in relationships with may have a different attachment style than you. Understanding the attachment styles of others will help you support their needs and perhaps any needs you may have that you’re unaware of as well.”

Poosh Edit: Popular Items:

Up next, be the first to know our weekly content and sign up for our Poosh newsletter.

You may also like...

How to Get Him to Commit
Relationships
How to Get Him to Commit
The Signs of a Needy Partner
Relationships
The Signs of a Needy Partner

Related Articles

Does Commitment Make You Nervous?
Relationships
Does Commitment Make You Nervous?
Can You Actually Teach Yourself to Squirt?
Relationships
Can You Actually Teach Yourself to Squirt?
What Type of Ex Are You?
Relationships
What Type of Ex Are You?
Dating with Anxiety: What It Truly Feels Like
Relationships
Dating with Anxiety: What It Truly Feels Like
How to Break the Habit of Stalking Your Ex on Social Media
Relationships
How to Break the Habit of Stalking Your Ex on Social Media
The Best Dating Advice I’ve Learned from Kourt
Relationships
The Best Dating Advice I’ve Learned from Kourt
Is Good Sex Mainly Mental?
mind
Is Good Sex Mainly Mental?
When to Let Go in a Relationship
Relationships
When to Let Go in a Relationship

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

By clicking SIGN UP, you agree to receive emails from Poosh and agree to our terms of use and privacy policy.
  • About
  • Contact
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Cookie Policy
  • California Privacy Rights
  • Affiliate Disclosure
  • Accessibility
  • © poosh, llc
    All Rights Reserved

Keep in Touch

instagram pinterest facebook twitter youtube
ADA + WCAG 2.2 Compliant Badge
Made By Nice People