Years ago, I was waiting for my boyfriend—now husband—to come home one night. I noticed he wasn’t home when he said he would be, and I found myself getting anxious. I called him and he didn’t answer, and I became upset. I realized at that moment I was triggered and reacting in an unhealthy way because when this happened in some of my past relationships, it meant my partner was being unfaithful. About 10 minutes later, he walked in … I was about to yell at him, and he pulled out flowers. He had stopped to get me flowers. I stopped, took a few deep breaths, and told him about my trigger instead of shutting down like I normally would.
It’s so important to know when you’re triggered because you may say or do things that sabotage your peace, your relationships, and ultimately, your quality of life. When you can slow down the space between a trigger and an unconsciously chosen reaction, you’ll be left with incredible feedback and space for healing to occur.
Let me show you how, using pattern interrupts.
When you realize you’re triggered, you’ve likely fallen into a fragmented part of yourself and it’s not authentically you in the now. Before you can see that there are more possible reactions or meanings to place on the trigger, we need to take a few steps back so we can start to see a bird’s-eye view of the situation versus a clouded, tunnel-vision perception. Remember, every situation is multifaceted, so it greatly benefits us to find a meaning that resonates and so empowers us instead of taking our power away.
So, we start with a pattern interrupt! A pattern interrupt is a simple, actionable step you take as soon as you become aware you are triggered/feel off. The intention of a pattern interrupt is to stop the flow of energy, or the typical default behavior you would unconsciously choose that tends to make things worse.
Some examples:
A physical pattern interrupt: drop down and do 10 pushups, get in front of a mirror and do a silly dance.
A mental pattern interrupt: visualize everyone in the triggering situation talking/looking like your favorite cartoon, or stop and journal what meaning you placed on what happened and if there are more perspectives than the one that is disempowering.
A spiritual pattern interrupt: do a guided meditation, talk to your higher power, or visualize cutting energetic cords.
When done correctly, a pattern interrupt should help you release some of the tension you feel, give you an opportunity to see more perspectives, and ultimately stop the sabotaging behavior you’d typically default to that isn’t working for you. It literally rewires your brain and eventually, that trigger ceases to exist.
So the next time you find yourself triggered because you’re fighting with your partner or your boss just chastised you, you’ll choose/create a pattern interrupt that helps you feel emotionally lighter than the typical action you’d choose. That way, you can gain perspective and find an empowering action that actually heals what you were unconsciously telling yourself, instead of making it worse.
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